A reminder for us all...Section 1

Hey everyone!

For those who have been reading this blog over the last few weeks, I've been giving out some words of wisdom (or at least I hope they are) on how to get the most out of life.

This week however, I want to do something a little different... I want to give you a reminder that I want you to look at every day- especially during those times you are feeling down or struggling with life.

So here it goes... A little reminder for us all...

• You are made in the image and likeness of God- exactly as he wanted you to be.
• You were made to take what God has given you, your gifts, talents and personality to make the world a better place- so go out there and do it.
• You will face obstacles along the way- but so does every saint, athlete, inventor and important person in this world- even Jesus did- the key is to keep going through those.
• You are worthy of everything that you set your heart on because you are a child of God.
• There's no amount of money, fame or material goods that can match the love that God can give us.
• That love is shortly followed by the love we share with others. If you're feeling down, go do something for someone else, guarantee it'll brighten your day.
• In saying this, sometimes people won't appreciate immediately what you do, or appreciate it at all. In those times, it's important to remember we do this not for our own self satisfaction, but to make the world a better place.
• God sees everything that you do, and will reward you in his time for it.
• You aren't called to change everything- but you are called to ensure you make every moment you live count.
• There's always going to be someone who seems to have it better than you. Thing is though, they still have struggles and challenges, they're human after all.
• Together we make a greater difference-individually we can do great things, but when we set aside wanting to win and instead focus on achieving the goals at hand, we can allow others in and they're talents and gifts and help us achieve greatness.
• And of course, no matter where you are and no matter how challenging, saddening or tough life is, there's always something to smile about. Find that thing and focus on it. Also make sure you're doing things you love during the tough times, so that your mind is focused on the positive.

We all have challenges- it's what we do about them that will enable us to have life to the fullest- case in point, Kid President- the 10 year old who has a brittle bone condition but has managed to still change lives in the process. I think it's best to leave the parting words to him on this one- till next time :)

True humility is not thinking less of ourselves...

Growing up, I remember that I always wanted to be the best at something. I tried sport- didn't really succeed at that, I tried art- and really didn't succeed at that. Then in year 4, I tried my hand at singing- and well, I was actually not bad.

I remember that as the years went on, I became known for being in choir, performing in musicals. I also started to see that I was good at public speaking and that gained me more kudos around my peers and being a kid who had only a few friends in high school, I loved it and was more than happy to show I was being cheered on by the masses. By the end of high school- I was one of those people who either was loved by people or was accused of being falsely loved for the wrong reasons- either way, I loved it and I lapped it up.

Then on top of this, I joined a youth group where people really were interested in who I was and what I was doing- I seemed to be unstoppable, seemed to have it all and confidence was abounding, or so I thought. One day however,  I remember being at a Catholic event and words similar to this were said...

Being a child of God means being humble, being like the saints and seeing yourself as less than others.

At first, I thought that this was rather strange- I mean, God gave me talents to do good things, right? So why should I see myself as lesser than others? 

But the more I read the bible, the more this speakers words ran true. I can't even remember today who that person was, but I can remember those words and the fact that as I searched the bible afterwards for clarity, there seemed to be truth to what was being said. Things like, the first shall be last and you should not try to pull the splint out of your neighbours eye without pulling the plank out of your own first only seemed to justify this idea.

And so, for many years after- I always tried to think of myself as less than others. That there was always someone who could do something better than me and so unless I really needed to, I shouldn't shout my abilities above others- just go about doing things and don't make a scene of greatness. 

I found it really hard to accept accolades of praise as I didn't feel humble when I did, I also found it really hard to strive for goals as I feared I wasn't following my faith by doing that- as I was putting myself ahead of others.

The truth, as I now know is- that's not humility! God gives us gifts and talents for a reason, to use them and to make the world a better place. He thinks we are the most special people in the world- you want proof- read Psalm 139. Why should we think any less of ourselves if God doesn't?

But then you might ask, what is true humility? What is meant by readings such as the one in today's gospel that say...

"Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted" - Matthew 23:12

True humility is when we realise that the talents we have are given by God and that we are nothing without him. It's knowing that if someone gets an opportunity ahead of us, we need not be bitter or upset that we missed out, but rather realise that God gives us all and our time will come when He decides it is the right time.

Humbling ones self also means realising that we are in no way better than anyone else. That doesn't mean thinking less of ourselves- but it does mean that we accept that we have no right to say we are greater than another just because we can do something better than them, go to mass more than they do (see last weeks piece for more info) or find it easier to live a faith filled life at this time. 

We are allowed to, in love, show people the opportunities that lie in a life lived in Christ as we experience it, just as Jesus did. We are not allowed to, as the pharisees did, condemn those who don't do what we say - for God loves all and judges all in his own way, one that we will never know or understand until after our time on earth is done. Besides, every person has unique gifts and talents they are good at.

Humility helps to realise all these things as it allows us to see that we are no greater than anyone else when it comes to salvation- and while for some that may a hard pill to swallow, for me, I find that so comforting. It means that while I can admire saints like St Rose of Lima who wore a crown of thorns on her head and slept in a hut on a box of broken tiles and spent days in adoration, I know that I don't have to do all that to be saved by God- I just need to do what he calls me to do and use my gifts and talents for his work.

By being truly humble- that is, seeing ourselves a gift from God, living out our God-given gifts and talents to the best of our ability in all we do and not lauding that over others- we can become not only fine examples of Christ to others, but also inspire them to go out there and be the best person they can be as well- and in turn inspire many more people to do the same.

Till next time...

Being perfect is not the key to a healthy faith life!

Ok, it's time I admit something. I sometimes don't say grace before meals, don't always get my intended hour of prayer in a day and I have arrived at mass either right on the time it starts or after.

To be honest, I know it's not that big a deal. I know that if I was to say this on the street, it wouldn't bat an eyelid- but if I'm being honest, I wouldn't have admitted this a couple of years ago to anyone.

You see, I grew up in the school of thought that if you weren't doing these things- you weren't being truly in your faith. That God would not take kindly to this as you weren't respecting him. That to be a truly strong person in the faith- you had to say grace before meals, not just go to mass every Sunday but ensure you were there at least 15 minutes beforehand- to not do these things was to sin and sin badly.

Well I now know this isn't the case at all. Sorry everyone who believes this thought, but being perfect and saying grace before every meal and making mass 30 minutes before it starts to ensure you have quiet time with God does not make you any more holy than the person who doesn't do these things.

Now before I continue, I will say that we are called to do those things I mentioned above because they help strengthen our relationship with God and allow us to give thanks to our creator for all the great things he has done- or to spend time with him seeing how he is affecting our lives. These things are important and if you can do them, I'd suggest you do as they are great ways to get into the habit of living out your faith in life and to see that there's more to the world than just the material lives we sometimes live.

The thing is though, while they are important, as I have said many times before- God's love is unconditional, which means that he will love us just as much whether we are horrible sinners or the closest thing to saints. 

We need to stop feeling as if we can no longer live the faith just because we may have forgotten to say grace before a meal, or forgotten to reflect on God in two days out of seven, or that we might have a young family and have arrived at mass five minutes late because the kids took a bit more time to get into the car than usual one Sunday morning.

You've only got to look at the bible passage that talks about the Pharisee and the sinner who were praying to see what God finds truly important. The Pharisee followed the law and prayed to God to the letter as he was taught, while the sinner beats his chest and wails to God for forgiveness. Despite his lack of abiding by the law, Jesus explains that the sinner is the one who is more open to God's grace as he is willing to accept he's not perfect and ask for God's help.

As human beings, we are bound to have times where we make slip-ups in our faith, no matter how devout we are and God accepts that as he knows that we have a tendency to sin. No matter how much we try to do God's will, there's going to be times where mistakes are going to be made. Rather than sit in these and wallow about how much less of a Christian we now are- God wants us to realise the mistakes we've made- ask for his forgiveness and then continue on trying to live his path. We just have to look at how Jesus treated Peter after he was betrayed by him to see the way we are called to move on from mistakes.

I know personally for me it's hard not to want to be perfect. To do everything God calls me to gives me a sense that I'm serving him the best I can and when I stuff up, I know I feel pretty annoyed at myself for it. I'm learning though that it is in those times that I sometimes see God more clearly than when I'm just doing what I'm called to do and following the path because at least when I stuff up, I'm needing to turn back to God for his grace, rather than just putting my faith on autopilot and making sure I don't hit the obstacles.

The other thing about being perfect is that it blinds you from what God might truly be calling you to. For example, if you are trying to make Church in time to have 30 minutes before Mass but on the way you ignore a person in need to do so- you aren't living out your faith as while you might be at Church and praying- along the way you've forgotten to address the one key commandment from Jesus- "Love one another as I have loved you."

Finally, one of the biggest no-no's our Church talks about is Spiritual Elitism. Basically this means that you think that because you going to Church more often than others or spending more time in prayer- that you are better than them.

No one person is better than another just because of what they do- everyone is made unique, and equally valued by God and so to say anything otherwise is to deny the real faith that God taught us- to love our neighbours as ourselves.

Further from this, if all people see in us when they see the Church are people who are always doing things perfectly, are always abiding by the rules and who are constantly discouraging those who can't reach this level- they will think that the Church is a place that's too hard for them to be in- as they aren't at the same level of holiness or perfection as those around them.

We would rather create a place where we try to live by the canons of the Church as much as possible but in which people know they are able to make mistakes, that they won't be judged by that and that the community will support them in helping them grow on their journey.

So the next time you forget to say Grace before a meal or make it to Mass late- make sure you apologise to God for doing it- but don't think you are any less Holy, because God certainly doesn't.

Till next time...

Why we all need to stop wanting to be somewhere else- Accepting our place

Why is it that no matter where we are in life- no matter how good life is at the time, we are always wanting to be somewhere else?

I know for me, it's something that I'm guilty of all too often. Despite having lots of friends, a decent amount of money to live by, a job that I find rewarding and so many moments in life that I really should be grateful for, I instead focus on what I don't have.

I don't have enough money to live where I want to live yet, I've still not found the one, I'm still not getting enough support in my endeavours and the list goes on and on.

I use to think I was the only person who is like this, but in recent years, I've realised that we all are like this. No matter how good you may think someone's life is, they are always finding a fault in it. Even some of my friends who are doing amazing things, will tell me that there are areas of their lives they want to change or that they'd rather on some days being doing something else.

There's so many problems with this way of thinking, I could write a book about them. The main issue however is that by thinking like this, we stop seeing the good that we're given and instead focus on the bad. 

This thought process is in my opinion one of the key reasons why our society is the way it is today. We are so worried about what we're doing and the things we're missing out on- that we then spend all our time trying to fix those things or make them happen- rather than helping out those who really need it or caring for those around us.

We need to turn this thought process on it's head- for our own sanity and freedom as well as for the good of the rest of our fellow neighbours.

To start off with, we need to keep reminding ourselves that we are all put in the place where we are at for a reason. This is something I'll touch on more in a future post but needless to say that God doesn't call us to be anywhere other than where we are at this very moment and to make the most of it living his word out in it. 

Yes we're called to be the best we can be and yes God will rewards us all abundantly, but this doesn't have to be tomorrow, or next month or even next year. Think about how Abraham (Abram) and Sarah (Sara) had to wait until Sarah was 90 before they got the child they'd been asking God for. Think about how Jesus had to wait till he was 30 to start his great work, even though I'm sure he'd been given the gifts a long time before hand. We all are called to a plan by God, but that doesn't mean we're going to be doing it tomorrow.

Secondly, we need to start focusing on what is good in our world rather than what is bad. 

It's incredible to see how when tragedy happens, a lot of time that is when the true hearts of people come through. I look at the Rise for Alex initiative as a great example of this, or just the other day the way people around the world gave to help Baby Gammy with the heart defect in Thailand. The thing is though, we need to start acting like this outside of tragedy too.

We need to take a look at our lives on a daily basis and look at the good we have in them. We need to stop worrying about what we don't have and thank God for what we do. We also need to see those who don't have what we have and try to make a difference in their lives so that they can share in our blessings (whether they be material, emotional or spiritual).

I know I'm guilty of not doing this and it's something I need to work a lot harder on, but I am trying everyday to change my mindset as I know it's the only way the world we become a better place. As I've said many times before- God put us here to do something, so we should go out and do it.

Finally, we need to be accepting of where we are. 

Now that doesn't mean we have to be happy with where we are at, or we should stop trying to keep improving or growing even more as people. What it does mean is that we accept that we are where we are is OK, because we know that it is where we will make the most of the life God has given us and it's all a part of the journey.

You see, the truth is, we will always want to be somewhere else for a reason. Not because we are jealous, not because we are flawed, not even because we don't like where we are. The real reason we want to be somewhere else is because it drives us if we allow it to, towards our real purpose, the only place we will be truly content, which is not found here on earth, but in heaven and eternity with God and I know, I wouldn't have it any other way than that.

Till next time... 

Set yourself free... stop being addicted!

A few months ago, I was reading an article in the newspaper about a footballer and his struggles to overcome a gambling addiction, just another person to add in the long list of pages dedicated to people who are struggling with one thing or another.

Addictions these days seem to be a part of the lives of those we hear about in the media. Famous people are constantly struggling with addictions with drugs, sex, alcohol, partying, self image. Their stories fill up the pages of our magazines, the news feeds on our phones, the Twitter feed and Facebook news snippets. You'd be forgiven for thinking that this is a new found famous person disease and that addictions only happen to you once you become popular, successful and have things to get addicted to.

It is important for us all to realise though, that we are not immune to addictions. I once read a piece from one of those famous 70's rockers that talked about addictions. The fact I can't remember the name of the rocker or where it came from means the article wasn't that good, but I do remember the one line that stood out to me, and that was this... Everyone is addicted to something.

Ok so perhaps this rocker just wanted to feel less guilty about their past actions, but the essence of this is still true.

The fact is, we are all at a vice to something- it is what makes us human. The fall of man put us here and anyone who say that they aren't affected by addictions is in my opinion either lying or unable to see the very thing they are addicted to.

Sure you might not be addicted to drugs, alcohol or pornography/sex (the common social addictions we hear about every day) but there are plenty of other addictions in our lives. You could be addicted to power, fear of failure,  food, self gratification, money, fitness, self pity- the list is endless.

I personally have numerous vices in my life that I constantly need to work on, I won't go into them now, but needless to say, I am not immune.

But if everyone is addicted or has a vice to something, then what's the big deal? Surely it's all about the level you are addicted to something that matters?

Well the answer to that is yes and no.

There is nothing wrong with being attracted to something. Our attractions- whether they are to people, to activities, to things- they help us to see what it is we are called for on this earth and the things that we are passionate about. Attraction to something can also help us to better appreciate the great things God has created in this world, increase our sense of gratitude and draw us closer to God through what he has given to us.

This is the line I want to focus on... Attraction is designed to help us draw closer to God through what he has given to us.

The issue with addiction (unless it's addiction to Jesus and even that's got conditions which I'll explain later) is that it normally goes from something that draws you closer to God, to something that replaces God.

Take for example the very simple idea of being interested/attracted to technology. There's nothing wrong with wanting to use a phone, the internet, emails etc.- we need these things to communicate in the world today.

The problem is though, our attraction can become an addiction very quickly if we don't watch it. We start seeing phones on TV and wanted that one because even though we bought our other phone a month ago, this one is better, so we buy it. This really doesn't make us any better than anyone else for having done this and we could have spent that money helping a charity or being generous to friends and family - the things that God calls us to as people.

Just as big a problem is to make sure that we aren't just doing something or interested in something because of the perceived need that it can bring us. When it comes to the technology issue at hand, whilst having interest in technology and using it isn't an issue- when it is used because we feel it can achieve a particular status symbol or having the latest tech will make us stand out more in the crowd- that is an issue. We should find our identity in knowing Jesus loves us and that's what matters- no matter how hard I know at times I find it to believe that as I'm lured by the traps of everything the world has to offer.

When it comes to non material things- like, as Robert Palmer said in his 80's classic- being addicted to love, the same principle applies. If you are with someone because they will offer you something, you feel they fill a hole missing in your life or you see them as being a way to better your status- it's time, in my opinion, to seriously re-think your relationship objectives- because these things can't be solved by anything but God's love- he solved the achings of our heart already, all we need to do is turn to him and be open to this love.

Which nicely leads me to the idea of being addicted to Jesus. Surely there's nothing wrong with that?

Well actually, there is. If you are sitting in a Church all day and not coming out as you feel that any contact with the outside world might ruin your relationship with Jesus, then you might need to check to see if you are living out God's call in your life. Jesus spent time in prayer- but he also spent time with the people, and more importantly, those who were seen as the least in society. It's important to have a strong faith life in the Church, but it's equally as important to live faith by action.

Even those in cloistered communities or living as hermits realise this. While they might not spend time with a lot of people and may spend time sitting in the Church all day, they are always praying for others and their hearts are set on others needs- which is what matters.

There is nothing wrong with having a complete and utter attraction and love to Jesus- it's what those in the religious life (priests, brothers, sisters/nuns) are all about. When your addiction to Jesus however becomes a status symbol to laud over your friends, or when a church, church group or youth group becomes a way to get out of dealing with family problems, issues of self worth, lack of security etc., then you've replaced God with something else.

No matter what your attraction is, whether it's to another, a particular activity, object or even to your church, it should never stand in the way of God's call in your life and ensuring that you live for him always.

At the end of it day, everything we have on earth is for this time on earth, which is a second compared to the infinite years of live with God, so rather than concern yourself with the now, set yourself free. Enjoy life and have many great interests and things you treasure, but make sure that at the end of the day, you treasure God first and foremost, because this is where true happiness comes.