Why we need to be aware of the environment we live in

Have you ever heard the saying 'You are what you eat'? 

I'm sure you have and for most of us, it makes a fair bit of sense. If you eat junk food, you're more likely to be unfit and at risk of illness compared to if you eat healthy food. It's a pretty simple concept to understand.

But what about the idea that 'You are where you live', Does this statement have any truth to it?

The answer is in a lot of ways, yes and yes. 

Now before I go any further, I want to make clear that every person can change their circumstance no matter where they are. If you really want to make something different, you can do it.

Why I'm saying yes though is because for the most part, unless you really make a conscientious effort to avoid them, the influences around you will play a large role in who you are.

When I was on the road the last few years, one of the things we use to tell young people at the end of the day was that if they wanted to keep their faith growing strong, they needed to surround themselves with friends who were on that same faith journey. It's like when you want to get good at football, you don't go and hang out with table tennis players, you go hang out with footballers.

The thing that I'm starting to realise though is that it's not just the things we want to become or the goals that we aim for that are affected by where we spend the moments of our day. Even our thoughts on just the simplest of things or our choice of reactions to particular situations are affected by our environment.

For me, one of my weaknesses is that I am highly competitive and I don't just mean in sports. I will aim to win on all fronts of my life and it's only in the last few years that I've started to realise that it is one of the main reasons for me being discontent in life. Just yesterday something happened where I had a reaction and then minutes later realised that was just my competitive side kicking in.

While it is easy for me to say that the solution to this would be to just stop being competitive and to get out of situations that are competitive, the truth is that it just wouldn't work and I wouldn't be me if I wasn't in this environment.

I know that might sound like a cop out, but hear me out because it is true. You see, It might not help my life to be highly competitive when it comes to say relationships, but it is important to me when it comes to keeping me striving to do the things I do to the best of my ability, and in having the passion to keep doing what God's called me to do. 

I get lazy if I'm not being challenged and a lot of the time, my challenges come from wanting to be better. Along with this, if I was to pull out from situations that are competitive, I'd have to lose doing things that are my passion, like watching sports and that would never happen, especially not on AFL Grand Final Day!

We all have weaknesses in our environment, whether they be our love of food, our passion for reading or our need to lead. But then again, these are also our greatest strengths. As a person once said, our strengths are our greatest weaknesses.

The key to ensuring that we keep on striving towards success and don't fall into the pit is that we make sure we are always aware of the environment we are in, so that when we see that there's a hazard ahead, we can take the steps to go around it.

Let me explain. Say for example one of the key elements of your environment is a passion for food. You aren't ever going to not be around food, but if you are aware of your environment, you'll know when you are eating too much, when you're eating way too much unhealthy food or when you might need to stay away from an food event and detox.

Awareness of your environment allows you to know when things within it are either business as usual or when there's an alarm that needs to be addressed.

In the coming weeks, I will be giving some of the tools that will help you to make the right decisions when you discover hazards in your environment but for now, the key is to become aware of the way you are living and start focusing on the areas of your life where perhaps things aren't going to plan, and then see what it is in our life that may be causing it.

By doing this, you will be able to start taking greater control of where your life is headed and you will also be able to start to see what it is that really matters in life and what is just a distraction.

No matter where you are in your life at the moment, you can always be more aware of the environment you live in, and trust me, once you start being more aware, the doors will open and you will discover things about your life that you never thought you would.

The things is though, awareness doesn't just happen, we have to take the step to focus and get in the zone. Now is the time to stop just living life and start living it with purpose so that you can be the person you and God knows you can be.

Till next time...

Have an attitude to gratitude - it won't just help others, but also you!

To be absolutely honest with you, this week has been a tough one for the world. From the fear we are now all faced with about possibly having our lives threatened, to the growing problems with epidemics across the world, you be forgiven if you think that the world is suddenly a darker place.

The thing is though, darkness is all around us and has been since the dawn of time. We have always had things to fear and worry about. Whilst it's great to say that it'd be fantastic to live in a world where everyone got along and all was at peace, the fact is, it isn't.

So where do you turn to when darkness is surrounding you? Where do you go when it seems like everything is caving in or the world seems like it wants to destroy you?

Well for starters, make sure you talk to someone about this. We all have these moments and we're not alone, so it's important we share and support each other.

The other thing that is important to do is when things seem less than hopeful, is to take an attitude of gratitude.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, then watch the video below as I think it's a great example of how being grateful can change a life.

As one of my favourite speakers Jonathan Doyle said in a podcast I was listening to this week- you have two choices to every situation- to either see the good or the bad.

Having an attitude to gratitude means that more often then not you'll pick the good. 

For example, if you have work/school/uni mates who you think are more talented or capable then you, rather than either getting jealous or feeling inadequate- if you had an attitude to gratitude, you'd be thankful for them being placed in your life and through that, use their talents to achieve your goals.

If you are feeling like you're being dealt a rough hand in a day, an attitude to gratitude will help you to think of the good things that have happened in the last day/week and you'll quickly see that this small moment is insignificant compared to the larger picture.

Now in saying all of this, there are going to be tough times- like when illness, death, heartbreak happen where it's going to be very hard to have an attitude to gratitude.

It's moments like these when we need to remember that we don't have to be happy, but we do need to be grateful. There's always things we can appreciate - even if that thing is just the support of friends and family or a favourite song, movie or food.

Some of the greatest people I've read about recently, from Church saints to saints of the world have suffered so much, but they all have, through an attitude to gratitude, been able to achieve greatness.

Gratitude doesn't just help others by making them feel worthwhile and therefore more willing to achieve their goals, it helps you to see the great wonders and joys that God has given in everyday of our lives.

So here's the challenge this weekend- start looking for something to be grateful for in your life everyday. It may be hard at first, but trust me, if you stick with it, it will change your life for the better.

Till next time...

Cause I'm taking it.. step by step

Growing up, one of the famous lines I heard on TV was... it won't happen overnight, but it will happen!

Sadly those facial creams and cleansers, hair products, bonsai gardens and even training programs weren't the most sound products around- frankly, a lot of them were just lemons.

But I can say that this line does hold true in one area of our lives. It holds true when it comes to changing our lives towards the will of God.

We all have those moments where God makes us realise that we need to change a certain part of our life or that the path we're going down might not be the best option.

When we have those moments, it's all too common that we then go full-tilt into fixing the situation. If it's that we need to get fit, we buy tons of fitness equipment or sign up to a gym and then start going daily to ensure we feel that we are making an impact. If it's that we need be more generous to others, we make sure the next month becomes filled up with catch-ups with people and any spare time left is used on the phone to those we can't physically meet.

The problem with this thought process is that we expect results automatically and when they don't happen, we get frustrated and go back to our old ways. The gym membership becomes something that is bought but never used as we didn't lose that 5kg we were hoping to get rid of in the first week. The exhaustion of not having any time to ourselves makes us resent our friends who are forcing us to catch up with them and so we stop catching up with anyone all together, saying it's time for some me time!

If you're in this situation, before I continue, please don't feel bad about it. You are not alone as we've all been there at one stage of our lives or are still there and I say that from personal experience.

The truth of it all is, you are never going to change something in the space of a few hours, days or weeks. In some cases, you aren't even going to change something in a matter of months. The thing is though, if you keep trying to change, sooner or later, the want becomes a habit and that habit will, overtime, see you make the change you are trying to achieve.

Recently I've come to the realisation that my need for things to be perfect is not good for me, for others or for my life. I never saw myself as a perfectionist, but a few years ago, I realised that while I don't fuss over everything, I do set a very high standard on what I do and that sometimes is either unrealistic or puts way to much pressure on myself and others.

So, I have set about this year working to try to accept that when I make mistakes, that's not a bad thing, but rather a fact of life that comes from being imperfect.

I started by trying to just completely change my thought process. I was going about just accepting the errors I and others made and not really caring much about them, at times I think those around me thought I was just not caring at all I was that laid back about things.

There's an old saying though that says a leopard never changes its spots and in this case, I was the leopard.

As much as I tried to change the thought process, it didn't take long for me to start getting annoyed at how people thought I wasn't caring and from that, I went back to trying not to make mistakes. It got to a point a month ago where I was so worried about doing something wrong, it was affecting my prayer life and my relationship with God, which in hindsight, was ridiculous.

Good news though is that God by his grace let me in the last few weeks hear from some great people who gave me a lot of wisdom and understanding in this area and from that, I realised once more that I wasn't meant to be perfect, that I would stuff up and that it was ok for that to happen.

But that then led me to ask... well then, if I'm not meant to perfect but I feel like I need to be, how can I change where I'm at without going back into the craziness of the last few months?

The answer in the end as I'm finding out, was that I do need to change, but not as drastically as I thought I did. Change in our lives is not like changing clothes. You don't just whip off one thing and throw on another and wham, the job is done.

Change in our lives is a gradual process. It involves us taking small steps every day to make a difference to where we are at. For me with my need to be perfect, it's making the choice everyday to accept I won't be perfect- and then accept that if I stuff up in doing this, it's ok as I wasn't meant to do it perfectly.

I know that there's some days I'll succeed with flying colours and there's other days I'm going to fall into old habits. The key though is that on the bad days, I need to realise that it's a bad day and then get back on the path the next day and to know that on the good days, it's one step closer to my goal.

I was listening to renowned chastity speaker Leah Darrow last night who said that "it's ok to fall seven times, as long as you get up eight". 

The honest truth is that we aren't expected to make it to our final goal in one step. We are going to fall a few times before we get there, just as we did when we were learning to walk. But just as with that process, over time, if we keep on the path and trying, we'll get there eventually if we are meant to be there.

As I said at the very start- it may not happen overnight, but it will happen.

Till next time...

All good things must come to an end..

Recently, I've realised something. It's a thing that has brought a lot of peace to my mind- a lot of understanding and I thought I'd share it with you today.

What I've realised is... All good things must come to an end.

I've always been one of those people who wants to try and hold onto the good in life for as long as possible- especially when it comes to my friends and things I value. I guess that comes from the fact that I didn't have that many friends growing up.

I'm the type of person who would bring up old memories during catch ups just so that I could reminisce about how good those times were. The type of person who hated goodbyes to those near and dear and couldn't get my head around why relationships were so different with people a couple of months after when we weren't so close. Oh and I was also one of those people who tried as hard as possible to keep friendships at the same level as they were long after I knew they weren't there anymore... oh and don't even get me started on actual relationships!

Case in point- I was close friends with someone a few years ago. We would talk a lot, share a lot about our lives and it felt really cool to have another close friend who I could hang out with, share laughs, do lots of really cool things with- I thought we'd be lifelong friends and we'd be sharing about our lives back then in decades time.

That person however went overseas and while I kept up with them over Skype we weren't as close as before- naturally it does happen when you live two separate lives away from each other in different countries doing your own thing. When they came back to Australia- our friendship had changed. I could see that we weren't as close as before- but rather than just accept it and appreciate the fact we were still friends, I instead spent my time questioning what I could have done wrong to ruin what we had- did I say the wrong thing, did I take them for granted etc.

Over time, my lack of focus on what we had meant that I missed out on building the friendship that was still there and while I will say we are still friends, we are nowhere near as close as before.

This is the prime example of what can happen when you aren't open to the fact that all good things will end eventually. Now I'm not saying that every friendship where someone goes away will end like this- I mean I have a good friend of mine who I didn't see for a year thanks to being on mission who I came back to and it was like we'd only been away from each other for a day. The thing is though, that sometimes, whether we like it or not, circumstances are going to change and we need to be ready to accept that time.

As Ecclesiastes says, there is a time for everything and we need to be able to live in the moment as it arises for two main reasons...

1. We only get to live in that moment for a period of time- so we need to make the most of it and treasure every chance we get.
2. If we keep trying to live in a moment once it's gone, we miss the opportunities that might be just around the corner for something better, greater or even a growth that could change everything.

Now there's one other reason for allowing a season in time to pass through and to move to a new one. This reason is greater than the two mentioned above but it's also one of the hardest reasons to get your head around...

- God has called that person to something greater-

Yes people, sometimes we are not the only reason that good things must come to an end. Sometimes it's for the benefit of the other to find their God given calling. 

This is a hard pill to swallow but understanding this concept could be the difference between a lifetime of what if's and pain vs a lifetime of joy and happiness. It's why I admire any man or woman who gives up their significant other so they can become a religious. You might love that person with all your heart, but you know that they are called to a higher purpose and who are you to stand against that. These people are not only brave, but they have tremendous trust in God's plan, I mean, you couldn't do it otherwise.

A few weeks ago, I was faced with this choice. One of my closest friends told me about her dream to go do mission work overseas and I was faced with the fact of whether I was selfish and told her to stay and do it in Australia or was honest and listened to what I knew was God's purpose for her.

To answer the question- she's now training for 9 months of mission in Canada and I couldn't be prouder, happier or feel closer as a friend to her then now- even though she is over 10,000 kms away. Despite the close friendship we have and the chance we may not be as close when she comes back, I knew I had to tell her to go if that's what God wanted for her - and by all accounts to this point- it seems like He did.

You see, I'm realising that no matter how good something may seem- it will only get better if we allow the moments we are in to have their end and for new opportunities to begin. It's like when you prune the beautiful flowers of a plant so new buds can sprout and next season more flowers can grow - we can only keep having life to it's fullest if we are willing to live in the moment- to accept it for what it is and to know that when the time comes to move on, we can, knowing God has something greater in store.

Till next time...