It's time to get real...

Hey everyone,

I went to a talk the other night from a Deacon in the United States who spoke about how one of the greatest flaws of the Western Catholic Church compared to the Eastern Catholic Rite is that we aren't willing to be real.

He spoke about how we have this amazing religion which is filled with richness and all sort of tradition and yet we have spent years trying to make the faith something that will meet the needs of modern society - giving up the great mystery and history to try to get people to connect.

In return however, people have seen the facade for what it is - a facade. They are turned off by the efforts of the church trying to be something it's not and he spoke about how young people are actually more interested in being involved in the faith when they get to see it's richness and history and experience things that they might not understand but are different to their normal lives.

All of this got me thinking... this Deacon was talking about the Church, but could the same principle apply to our lives? The answer after a few days of thought in my mind is a resounding yes.

I think that in society today, one of the biggest traps we fall into is the fact that we think that in order for someone to accept us, we need to be something that is popular or that is liked by the person we are aiming to impress.

We spend money on hair, teeth, bodies, clothes, cars, jewellery, accessories and so much more - all in the attempt to win the masses and feel accepted by someone in this expansive world we live in.

The truth of the matter is though if we're honest, most of the time this doesn't work out too well. The person on the other end either sees straight through the facade we're putting on and walks away, or they take a liking to us for a while, however as time goes on either we find it too hard to keep the facade, they see through us and the facade and feel cheated for being lied to or we end up seeing the truth and feeling we wasted our time on the whole thing.

We are made who we are for a reason. Each one of us possesses gifts and talents that no one else has in that percentage combination. It's this combination that not only make us who we are, but draws people to us as well.

In addition, people who meet us and stay with us from the get go are normally there because they like something in us - the real us, not the person who we try to become to get others approval. If this is the case, then it really is hard to fathom why we'd change ourselves from the person who people were attracted to in the first place.

I know for some of you this may be a really hard concept to believe, but it is the truth. You DO NOT need to be anyone else but yourself. Those who truly respect and care for you will accept most of this and love you for the parts they don't accept anyway. The rest, well, you need to live with them, but you don't need to try to get their approval.

So here's a challenge for you for this week - try to be yourself without any masks or pretensions for just one day. If you succeed, then try for two the week after - if not, then keep trying till you succeed then move onto the next step.

The real you, like the Deacon at the start of the story was saying about the true Catholic Church is so beautiful and amazing that if you let it shine, those around you won't be able to help looking at it and being amazed.

Till next time everyone...

Having a bad day... know you're not alone

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the lateness of this post. Between the lack of motivation to write and then having a head cold the last few days, it's been a struggle to get anything much through the keyboard.

I'm sure you're all thinking right now- I totally get you or #thestruggleisreal.

The funny thing is that while this is completely true and we know this, whenever we are having a bad day or struggling with life, we seem to think that we're in this battle alone.

I know a month or two ago I was having one of my down times and as I looked around at everyone else around me it seemed like they were having the time of their lives, while I was all by myself in this state of unhappiness and gloom.

The truth though was that this was not the case. I soon found out that several of those people I had been around had been going through their fair share of bad days as well.

Now I'm not trying to say that you should be happier because you find out that other people's lives are as problematic as yours - it's not good that anyone's life sucks, but that's just life.

What I am saying however is that the next time you feel like you're having a bad day, here's some important things to remember:

1. Everyone has bad days - they are a part of our frailty as humans
2. Bad days don't last. The sun does come out sooner or later
3. People are around to support you, so use them and don't try to fight the battle alone.

Now this last point is one of the most critical things to remember when having a bad day. While it's so easy to look at the world and either despise it or feel it's against you when things aren't going your way - it's vital that you remember that those close to you don't have it against you to make your life a misery and more so, they want the best for you.

I regularly meet up with a group of people to chat about our lives and one of the things that I've found over the last few months is that spending time with these people is not only good for sharing how I'm feeling but it's also good for others to understand and then have a greater knowledge of why things are the way they are and how they can support.

Whether it's your family, your friends or a counselor sharing your thoughts, especially when you are having a bad day is an important step in overcoming the negative space and being able move past the bad day and into the sunshine.

Another important thing to know when you're in a bad day is that overcoming the bad starts with focusing on the good. 

Now I know that sounds so cliche, but here me out. If you have a set of mantras, phrases or for those who are of the faith, bible passages that you focus on regularly in the good and bad times, then when bad times come - you can turn your attention to these and see the truth.

When I was working in youth ministry, we use to always talk about faith - fact -feelings when dealing with a situation and how so often the feelings overwhelm the rest of the process and cloud it. Having constant messages around you will help you to stop the feelings train and place the focus back on the first two - which is key to keeping positive in life.

Finally, there is one of other thing to know about when having a bad day and that's the fact you are loved by others and by God always. It's so hard to see but this is sometimes the greatest solace of all for a person having a bad day and it's why we should always keep offering encouraging words, giving hugs and doing random gifts of kindness. Our actions towards others can be the difference between several bad days and just one.

So yes, have those bad days, they are a part of life and without them, we wouldn't appreciate the good days as much as we do - but know you're not alone in having them and that there is always support to help you work to get to the sunnier side of life.

Till next time...

NB. If life's pressures are getting too much to handle or you have been diagnosed with depression or anxiety then it is vital that you seek professional help.