Yesterday I had the chance of hearing from the great Fr Emmerich Vogt on a little thing called the 12 step review. He was brilliant in what he had to say, but more than that, what he said really hit me as to be honest, it was exactly what my last six months on the road have personally been all about.
I thought I'd use this blog to share with you a bit about this- you've heard about the ministry, about my team, about life in the country in previous updates but I thought with this one, given I've been home for a few days as I'm on mid-year break and had a chance to process, I'd share about my own personal growth (however, I ain't doing this is 12 steps as I know you all have lives to lead that involve more than just this blog LOL!), but I will focus on some key areas.
Admit our Powerlessness, Turn our life to God
In this section, Fr Vogt talks about how without the grace of an active spiritual life, our lives are unmanageable.
Over the last year and in particular the last few months, I think this has come to the fore more than it has in my entire life. The more I trust in God with things and the more I listen to him instead of doing what I feel is right, the greater the power I have and the more control I have over things.
I'm realising as well that I really can't do much without Christ who gives me strength. So often in the past, I've tried to do things myself and of course, they haven't turned out. To see however the things I can do when I do what God calls me to do, has been such an amazing experience and made me see why having the love of Christ in your heart is so important.
These days, I am trying as much as possible, even if it is only for five minutes and then I do my prayer time later- to start the day in conversation with God. This gives great peace as from reading a passage or from looking at a quote, I am reminded of what God wants me to focus on and I am more able to live that out in my life.
Even when things might not go as planned or I have a bad day, having God's message at the forefront of my mind means I can stop, give it to him and focus on what he wants me to do- which is especially important as it allows you to show to young people that what you are saying to them is not just something you are talking, it's also something you are believing and living and that makes them more open to it.
Admit our wrongs, be willing to be healed, make direct amends
This section is all about how if you are willing to accept that people will make mistakes and so will you that you will be able to be healed of past hurts and be able to live in greater communion with each other and God.
I've always found it hard to admit I'm wrong or not feel hurt when others do things that are against me. Over time however, especially when I was working, I learnt to ignore these things and just hope that they will pass.
Last year, I learnt from my year on the road that sometimes you just have to love those around you when they do wrong- to accept them as human and give them another opportunity- I think it is something that has made my friendships a lot stronger and I'm grateful for this lesson learnt.
This year however, the more I grow in my journey with God, the more I'm realising the mistakes and pain I have caused. I think before I just didn't worry about it, but knowing the way God wants me to live, now it is something that I notice and can't help but feel affected by.
The thing is though is that from my reading of scripture, time spent with people of the faith and my own time in prayer- I'm learning that mistakes are going to happen and I need to accept that. I need to be willing to not be too hard on myself when things occur and instead be willing to admit I'm wrong and ask forgiveness of those around me and to accept the forgiveness that God has for me - he loves us all no matter what and that's amazing, but we need to open to that love to receive freedom.
Which leads me to the last thing I've learnt this year- and that's never let an issue not be resolved. If you have a gripe or have done something bad against someone- go talk to them about it. I'm realising that when I do this, whether the conversation is a good one or not, the end is result is always that in the long term- my friendships grow stronger because people feel more appreciated that I am being honest. Now I know this isn't easy- to be honest there's still times when I want to ignore things- but I now know the difference caused from talking about an issue and not doing it and I definitely think the first one is the better option.
Live a life of prayer and sharing with others
If there's one thing I've learnt this year though most of all, it's the power of prayer and the power I have in sharing what I have learnt in others.
I'm realising the amazing gift that prayer can have in our lives. A perfect example is of my Grandmother who is in a nursing home. I prayed that God would give her happiness and while she isn't as strong as she was before and has lost her short term memory, she is happier than I've seen her in a long time, which is only by the grace of God and the people he has put around her.
Prayer is all about our willingness to give our thoughts to God and trust the problems and issues of life to him. I use to think as a kid that while it was important to pray, it didn't really matter as there were billions of people on the world and God couldn't help them all- he's just one man.
I now know however that the choirs of angels stop to hear our prayers (it says so in Apocalypse) and also that while not ever prayer is going to be answered immediately or in the way we want it to, God hears all our prayers and in time, he gives us what we need- yes people, not what we want, what we need.
When it comes to sharing with others, I am constantly astounded by how my story, my life and my love for Christ inspires those around me. It has been such a joy to come back home and see how the sharing in the faith of my friends has inspired them all to greater things, how simple words of advice can help turn a persons life around and how young men and women have their hearts changed simply by knowing someone is there like them who believes in what they do, who wants what they want and who isn't afraid to go after it.
And that's where I'd like to leave this- with that point in mind. No matter what I've learnt over the last six months and it has been a lot and a great journey, the road continues on and I will keep learning, but the most important thing is that I keep being myself, and I keep allowing people to know I am there and ready to be a warrior for Christ.
It may be hard at times, it may challenge everything I've known, but I wouldn't have it any other way, and I pray that for those on this journey with me - that you wouldn't have it any other way either.
GB, Trev :)
No comments:
Post a Comment