I remember growing up, it was all about the destination and in a lot of cases it still is- wanting the perfect life of job, partner, friends, money- it was all about how to get that and never so much about what was happening at the time. Many a moment was spent complaining about the fact I was nowhere nearer to my goal or calculating how I'm going to get to the next step of my grand master plan to be successful in life.
In the last few years however, I started to veer away from that, started to see that there was more to life than just getting to a place. I remember reading a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson one day in a book at uni that said:
"Life is a journey, not a destination."
As that thought sat in my brain for the months afterwards, it made me start to realise the fact that I should be enjoying the moments I am in and I'm glad to say in a lot of ways, I've done that the last few years. I know there are many times I am grateful for even if I didn't reach the goal I originally set out to achieve, because I got to spend time with amazing people and do amazing things anyway.
The thing is though, I'm not perfect and more than that, I'm one of the most guilty of doing something that a lot of people do in life- that being- evaluating life based on the destination.
No matter how much I try to enjoy the journey, I'm always evaluating whether I'm headed towards the destination, always focusing on the fact I'm not anywhere near the place I want to be and always looking at why I'm not there.
Now in a lot of ways, that's not a bad thing. Let no one ever say that having a destination is not important. I honestly believe that we all need to have some plan for our lives as it gives them purpose and a reason to get up in the morning. Even if the destination is to be able to say at the end of life I have been friendly to as many people as I can be, it's important as it will ensure that from this you are kind and respectful to people on a daily basis, making them feel more valued and in the end making the world a better place.
The problem arises when we let the destination become all we think about. Recently at times, as I search for work and settle back into a normal life, it's been a case of this becoming all too common a part of my life. These days, whenever this occurs, I try to spend time doing something I enjoy, not just because I like it, but more so, to remind me about having fun in the moment.
On Tuesday, one of these times, I was watching the final episode of How I Met Your Mother and to be honest, at the end of it, I was kind of shocked at how it all panned out as I know many people were. We waited nine years to find out about the mother, who as we find out in this episode is named Tracy, only to find out Ted only gets to have a decade with her and then she gets ill and passes away. We had a whole season of Barney and Robin's wedding only for this episode to show that they get divorced three years later due to Robin's work schedule. We end with the story not actually meant to be focusing on How Ted met his wife, but on how Ted still has feelings for Robin and them trying again... in the grand scheme of the last season, it kinda sucked.The thing is though, as I thought about this final episode a bit more, I realised something. This series was never about the end destination, which still wasn't known even at the end of the show! It was about something else. It was about the nine years of fun, laughs and memories that were shared in the quest for the destination, and the many more years of fun, laughs and memories to come afterward.
It didn't mirror the Hollywood fairy tale (ok the end perhaps did), but the rest didn't- it mirrored life. Even more however, this show demonstrated the importance of any moment in time. As an audience we gained joy in finally meeting Tracy and seeing Ted truly happy, we felt warmth at how Barney and Robin helped each other grow up in their own crazy way. These moments, sadly, didn't last forever, but in the moment, they provided something special. Real life is filled with ups and downs, filled with highlights and tragedies, filled with memories that are meant to be the real celebration- not getting to the end of the line.
This is why taking notice of the things that happen in a journey is so important. We can say we've been on a road trip from one city to another, but what really makes the story exciting and memorable all those years later is the things that occurred along the way- the fast food stops, the car ride songs, the discovery of crazy things on the journey (it's why for a lot of us, road trips are so much fun).The same goes with life. There's no use getting to the end of our lives and saying that we reached there without having a single memory of how we got there. If it wasn't for the journey, we wouldn't be able to celebrate our overcoming of adversity, revel in the successes or grow closer in the tough times.
So here's the invitation to you all, and one I'm taking up as well. From today onwards, pick a destination for your life, but spend the hours of your day focusing and enjoying the journey. This life is only for a very short time in the grand scheme of things, so make sure you make the most of every moment of it.
Till next time...
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