Stay positive- there's plenty of good happening in the world!

Hey everyone!

With all the horrible headlines and threats to life this week, I wouldn't blame you for thinking that things aren't as good as they were say a year ago, or five years ago.

Problem with thinking like this is, when we do it, we lose sight of the fact that while these incidents happening around the world are terrible, they only make a fraction of what the world is about and as renowned motivational guru Tony Robbins said in a video I watched this week, it's what we react to that shapes how we react.

Now if that last paragraph sounds a bit confusing, let me spell it out to you- In order to feel good about the world, you need to see the good in it first.

This isn't always easy to do, but this week I'm here to help. Rather than going on about tips and hints and ideas though, I'm instead going to show you three stories that will help you to see that the world is full of good stuff happening and it needs your help.

I hope that by doing this, I'll inspire you, no matter what you are feeling about the world at the moment, to take a fresh perspective and focus on making a difference for the better. We can't always stop people from doing terrible things, but we can go out there and bring happiness to the world instead.

So here it is... three signs of good in the world!

Number 1: Socktober- spreading love through donation of socks and other items to the homeless

Number 2: Check out these high school students inspiring an 8 year old with Down Syndrome to greatness!

http://www.qutnews.com/2014/10/10/mobile-laundry-helps-the-homeless/#.VEw2qfmSwrW

Number 3: Orange Sky Laundry- a great idea to ensure Brisbane's less fortunate have dignity and respect through washing of their clothes on a regular basis.

Why we need to be merciful and forgive

Ok, you might be asking, why am I writing a blog on the need to forgive and be merciful, isn't that like humanity 101? Why tell me something I already know?

The thing is though, we might know about forgiving and being merciful, but do we really understand the power it offers, not only to help others, but to help ourselves.

St Augustine once said something along the lines of forgiveness happening when we "surrender our natural desire for revenge".

What that means is that to forgive, which as I've written before is key to being able to move on with life, we must first be willing to offer mercy.

Being merciful means that we are willing to drop any anger or hurt we have against someone, and love them for who they are. We must accept that like us, they are flawed and will make mistakes sometimes. We don't always have to agree with them and we can fight for our rights and beliefs, but at the end of the day, we understand those around us are valued by God and so we should value them as well.

Our soon to be Blessed Paul VI said it well when he proclaimed "Anger is like throwing a stone into a wasp nest."

If you're angry at someone, something or even at yourself, you are more likely to experience negative effects from it, like you would if you threw a stone into a wasps nest and thousands of wasps tried to sting you.

We must realise as people that we don't need that kind of pain and we don't deserve it. God wants us all to live happy and fulfilled lives, but we won't be able to do that if we are angry and aren't willing to be merciful.

Here's five ways to stop increase your ability to show mercy in your life:

1. See others values, not their faults.
2. Be willing to accept when you make a mistake, it's ok, you are human and that's a part of this fact. The key is to learn from the mistakes and grow.
3. Start seeing things from others views, rather than just your own.
4. Be kind and supportive of others before your needs.
5. Read about those of greatness and humility. Their stories normally will help you see what's really important.

Once we are being merciful, then we are more likely to see reason to forgive for the mistakes we make. In my opinion no one can try to forgive before they experience mercy, that's like trying to walk through a glass door before you've opened it.

After mercy comes forgiveness. Now forgiveness is important because it's ok to be merciful but if we don't forgive as part of that, no matter how much we might want to say we are being merciful, it will be hard as there will be past hurts and pains to challenge our decisions when it comes to mercy.

We need to clear out those past pains and hurts and the only way we can do that is by forgiving those who hurt us. Doesn't have to be face to face (although that'd be great), just as long as you do it. Every step you take is one step closer to moving on and being able to live life on your terms, free of the past.

Here's five important things to remember when looking at forgiveness?

1. Have I been hurt by others or by something I did that didn't work out?
2. Am I willing to accept that tomorrow is a new day and I ain't letting this get me down?
3. Have I looked at the bible and seen the forgiveness Jesus has for us?
4. Do I want to forgive or am I still grieving over the issue?
5. If I do want to forgive, what am I doing about it?

Our own Lord's prayer- the Our Father has the line "as we forgive those who trespass against us", now if that's not a sign of the importance of forgiveness, then I don't know what is.

Furthermore however, forgiving yourself and others and showing mercy in all situations will lead to less stress, more social interaction and overall better health. 

Don't believe me, then check out this video...

So why not give a little bit of thought to being merciful and working to forgive yourself and others this week for the mistakes in life, not only will it free them and help them to move on, but more importantly, it will do the same for you.

Life isn't meant to be lived in the mistakes of the past, it's lived in the greatness of the now!

Till next time..

Why it's sometimes better not to have it all...

It's the message we get bombarded with every day- to be happy, you need to have it all. If you don't have the latest in phone technology, you should probably upgrade. If you're not happy with your current relationship status, then there's a solution (or several hundred). If you want to get that car but don't have the money, well there's a loan company ready to give you a hand.

It is so easy to get caught up in this society that says that when you see something you want, you should get it. I know I do on a regular basis. Oh and don't even get me started about what society says must happen when you don't get what you want.

Which is why, it was quite refreshing to be read the words of St John XXIII today that say...

"Feelings of my smallness and nothingness always kept me good company."

Now I have to admit, I do have a soft spot for John XXIII as the patron saint of my Parish. It is also his Saint day today but putting all that aside, these are some true words of wisdom we should all take note of in our lives.

While feeling in adequate or being treated badly is not right and should not be tolerated, I personally think that is not what John XXIII is talking about here. What he is talking about, is the fact that he comes from a poor family and like our current Pope Francis, lived a very humble life without much money or possessions, yet he didn't see that as a burden, but rather a blessing.

You see, sometimes it is good not to have everything. Just take a moment to think about what would happen if you did have everything you wanted.

Ok so not sure about you, but I'm pretty sure that if I had everything I wanted right now I would be relying solely on myself to make things happen, I'd be pretty unapproachable as others would see me as elitist over them even if they were my 'friends' and I know I wouldn't value things as much as I do know.

For me, having it all would mean the loss of who I am- I wouldn't be as strong in my faith, I wouldn't care about others as I wouldn't know what it means to not have and I wouldn't be grateful as I'd have so much I would just think it's normal, not special.

Feeling like you aren't the best at something or that you are missing something isn't the worst thing in the world. It can actually be a massive advantage if you think about it. 

Humility in yourself can lead you to:

• Better relate to others
• Have greater gratitude in what you have
• See the important things in life as important
• Trust in God rather than yourself

The key is to never see yourself as less than another. If you read one of my earlier pieces on this topic, it says that you should never see yourself as less or greater than anyone, but rather see them as your equal- as we each have unique gifts and talents to offer.

So let's all work today to live a life of humility instead of a life of wanting it all. If there's anytime today when you see something and you feel like I want that or why is that happening to that person but not me, then I strongly encourage you to step away and ask

1. Is this something I want rather than need?
2. Is this a chance to be humble?
3. Is there something in my life I can be grateful for ahead of this?

If the answer is yes to any of these three questions, then remind yourself about the words of St John XXIII listed above and move on. Doing so I can assure you will bring a lot more contentment long term than the object of desire ever will.

Till next time...

Think before you act...

I've recently discovered that I do something that's is really not that great.. something that I'm sure I'm not alone in doing, something that I until recently did without even knowing I did it, but that drastically affects everything that I do.

I've recently discovered that I base how I feel at a particular time on the attitudes of those around me.

I can be in the happiest mood in the world, but if I am surrounded by people who are less than happy, I will quickly go from being happy, to being miserable in a very short space of time. Same thing goes with me losing confidence around those who aren't confident in themselves and being less caring when I'm around those who perhaps don't see caring for others as high on their priority list.

Now I know the simple answer to this new found problem would be to just hang around really positive, happy, caring people all day. To be honest though, number one- I want to be around real people who do have ups and downs and number two- even happy people have bad days, so this isn't really the best solution.

The other option is I could just give into the change in attitude and accept it as a part of life. The thing is, I'm starting to realise that when I do that, I am no longer me. I don't feel like I can laugh as much, dance as much or just be a bundle of fun as much, which to be honest, is not what  I want.

So what's the solution? How can I spend time with real people, without losing who I am?

Well as I've found out, the answer is as simple as making sure I think before I act.

Whenever we are in a situation and something changes the situation, we get one of two options. The first is we can go with the situation and let the journey take its course, or number two, we can go back to what we know is real and true, compare it to the situation and then if it doesn't, go back to the path we know best.

The key here is not so much which option we take, but more that we realise there are options in the first place. 

For example, the other day, I was in a really happy mood, when someone came up to me who was in a tired mood while I had a task to do. Very quickly, because I didn't realise what was going on, I was sucked into that person's tiredness and lack of energy for the task at hand and I too became like this, while at the same time getting frustrated as the person had led me to this feeling. It was only after I had left that task and gone to do something else that I realised that I wasn't tired, but rather the person I was with was making me feel like that through observing their tiredness.

If that didn't make sense, here's a simple explanation:

If I yawn, then the person watching me is likely to yawn too in the minutes following. That person however if they catch that I've yawned early enough, can make the choice not to yawn.

It's important to realise that when we start feeling a certain way, very quickly, without us noticing it, it is normally due to an external influence around us. Realising this allows you to then take steps to work on it or keep focus on positive things in life to get you out of that space.

As Winston Churchill said, "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference". Don't let someone else's bad day make yours a bad one,

I encourage everyone this week to think before they act. If you're feeling angry at someone or been around someone whose had a bad day, before continuing in your task, go for a walk outside, clear your mind and then come back. Doing so will help clear the anger in your head and allow you to make more rational and appropriate responses.

In addition to this, if you're in a good mood, don't let anyone stop that, let alone someone in a bad mood. It's OK to help a person if they need it or share their hurt, but it doesn't mean that your lose your good mood because of it.

It's up to you as to how you feel, so think before you act on anything that you maybe feeling and stay true to yourself always, I know I will be from now on.

Till next time...