Which is better? Fame and fortune or helping others?

Before I start this post, I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope it's been a great time spent with family and friends.

So today we are asking the question of what really matters to you, is it fame, money, power and success or is it helping others and making a difference in the world?

No matter what the answer to your question - let me start off by saying this - while one of these answers seems to have a more positive aspect to it then the other, both are just as valid and
worthwhile an answer than the other one and both can see a person lead a happy, life-changing and inspirational life.

Now I know a lot of you will read the last paragraph and say to me as if! Surely having fame and power is the ultimate win. You are popular and you can do all you like. I know there will be a lot of you however that will tell me that this is also an as if, because you can't be happy when you're focus is on money- and this is a valid point as well.

But what if I was to put a third category into the mix of answers. One that says that fame and money have an important role to play in helping others and making a difference in the world- and vice versa.

Think about this, every person starts from somewhere in life - I think a quote based around passages from the bible said it best when it says 'I am born, wrapped in swaddling cloths and one day I will exit once again' - there is no human in this world who hasn't been through that.

The difference is that for some, they are born into the lower socio-economic status while for others, they are born into the high echelons of life.

It's interesting to note that in Australia at least, a lot of our more well known success stories who grace our magazines actually came from families with very little and from their hard work they've been able to turn this around not only for themselves but also for their families as well.

If we focus on this case in particular, it's a perfect example of how the search for fame and power can be a good thing. The fact that others are more famous can give people something to aspire to, which can be the key to breaking the cycle and making a pathway towards a better life.

Money and success can also be used by the person once successful to help others around them to make their situation better or improve their lives.

The key to all of this is that while there is a focus on fame and success and money, it is done with an end result which is greater than all of this - which is to create change and make a difference.

If we take helping others as a focus, the same principle applies. There's no use in making your goal to help others if you are only doing it to make yourself look good. There needs to be a much greater goal of helping others to ensure they can achieve their best or to enable them to perform tasks that will help others in their community to make their goals happen.

Whether your goal is fame or fortune or helping others and making a difference - there's only one thing you need to remember and this is that at the end of it all - neither of these things are the be all and end all of life. What really matters is that throughout your journey towards these goals, you continue to live out the values of respect, love and use your gifts and talents to the best of your ability.

Do this and both of these options will lead to success and ultimate happiness both now and into the years to come.

Till next time...

It's better when we stick together

Hi everyone,

Apologies for the nearly month long break between posts - I've been busy with projects and then came down the flu - but I'm back now and ready to continue to hopefully help you to have the best life possible!

So it's time for number 3 in our reflection series of questions - now I know it's been a bit of time between drinks so the question revolved around the idea of whether you are someone whose path involves just themselves or does it revolve around family and friends as well.

Now if you're anything like me I'm guessing the answer to the question above will a bit more complex than just a one or the other.

It seems that as humanity, we are happy for people to be involved in our plans unless one of two things occurs:

1. The plan no longer is ours due to their involvement turning into their pet project
2. The plan that we have is shut down by those close to us 

Because of this, it seems that when it comes to plans - the ones that don't matter, we are happy for others to mess around in and do what they can to help us, but the big ones - the ones we have placed our futures in - well those are solely for us to control and choose.

Now before we continue, let me make one thing clear - this idea that we are the only ones who are in control or who have a say in a plan is COMPLETE NONSENSE! Anyone who thinks this should remember the golden rule - there is someone who put us on this earth in the first place (and it's not your mum or dad) and they have ultimate control over all plans in our lives- period. Even if we try to control the plans, if it's their desire for us to end up somewhere, they'll make it happen, even if it's via the long way around.

Ok, now that's out of the way, there are some other important reasons why this form of thinking isn't that sound.

1. If you have no experience in the area you are planning to succeed in, then it's vital that you get the support of those who have been on the journey before you to gain ideas on what works and what doesn't. You can't do this if you're flying solo.
   
2. When the road gets rough, no matter how much we all hate to admit it, we really value having someone around to provide support, give guidance and most importantly, just listen so that we can get past the point of frustration or disappointment and move towards achieving success.
   
3. If you alienate all your friends and family from this plan - no matter how much it means to you, there's a strong chance many of them (outside of the immediate circle) will feel hurt by this and start distancing themselves from you in all areas. You might just want to keep this goal or dream to yourself, but you might end up being by yourself instead.
   
4. Those who share and ask for support normally end up succeeding in their goals faster. Now this isn't some fancy quote or idea - it's the truth. Look at all those who have done great things in the world - not just in faith, but in science, technology, business - most of them started their projects with another person or they have mentors and backers a list long who worked
   
   with them to achieve the goal. When we go alone, the road can seem so much harder than it needs to be and this can delay us from wanting to keep going. Being in a group leads to more support, more ideas and in the end, a faster, more effective result.
   
   

Now after saying all that, let me say this. I know from my own experience that having the vulnerability to say that you need help or to ask for a person to join you in your goals is not easy and sometimes, takes more guts than just sticking it out alone.

The thing is though, we can't succeed in our goals if we try to do it by ourselves - it's why once God made Adam, he then created Eve - even the greatest creator of all knew humans needed a partner when it came to this crazy game we call life.

So my challenge to you today is to look at that goal you are wanting to achieve, Now write down a list of every person you know who can help you achieve that goal and start talking to them about it. It may not be every detail, but enough so they can help you to get to the next step. It's a challenge I know, but trust me from personal experience when I say, it's going to be so worth it.

Till next time everyone...

The next great thing....

Hi everyone,

Well it's time to look at question 2 of the reflection I did last month and unpack a bit about something that I know scares a lot of people and can cause people to freak out (I know it can for me from time to time)... the future.

The second question asked about what you want to do next. Now depending on your age, your current life situation and your values - this could be anything from being a superstar to making sure I make a positive difference tomorrow.

Personally, I'm not the biggest fan of the question - what do you want to do next? This particularly the case when people (including me) ask it to school leavers.

The reason why I'm not a fan of this question is that I think it forces people to think they have to make a decision and then once they've done that, the success of that decision will ultimately decide whether they have succeeded or failed in life.

Now anyone who has lived at least 25 years on this earth knows that this sort of thinking is filled with so many lies it would blow up a lie detector on impact!

The truth is that while we may make a decision on what we want to do next in life, no matter how hard we strive to do it, it might just not happen. Add to this to this the fact that for those who are followers of the faith, if it's not God's will, then as people who follow God, we may end up doing something completely different instead that could be equally as satisfying but no where near our original goal.

Here is my life journey so far so that you can see an example of exactly what I'm talking about above:

Working with Computers- Writing - Being a Youth Mentor in High Schools- Wanting to become a Youth Minister in a Church- Writing- Volunteering to help look after tech and mentor primary school/early childhood kids outside of work.

Now that's a super condensed version of the journey but as you can see - my goals have come and gone and morphed and what I'm doing now - while still using some of the talents I had before, is completely not what I would have expected to be doing when I was 15.

The fact is that no matter how much we want to say that we know what the next great thing is - we actually don't know until it arrives and we can see it.

Now this doesn't mean that you don't have any plans for what you want to do in the future. Plans are important because if we don't have any direction or purpose in life - as I've said in earlier posts we won't give 100% to life and for those who believe in God, he won't be able to work in us effectively as we won't be using our gifts and talents to do his calling.

We are given gifts and talents for a reason- to make a difference in the world and to help make it a better place- however if we have no idea or concept of how we are going to do that- which is what goal setting should really be all about - then we won't have an avenue in which to make a difference.

Alongside goal setting however- we also have to be open to the fact that there may just be something around the corner that is amazing and wonderful that we just haven't discovered yet. While our goals are important and we need to keep striving for them- we also need to keep working on a daily basis on the little things in life that can continue to foster our gifts and talents in all areas.

Fostering our gifts and talents will allow us to begin to see which areas of our life we are truly called to and if we're open to those areas, will allow us to truly offer the greatest reward to society and ensure that your next thing is also something truly inspiring, exciting and rewarding for all- not only in this life, but in the eternity to come.

So next time someone comes up and asks you what do you want to be when you're older or what is the next step- tell them that you have a plan, but that more importantly, you want to be the best person you can be and from that, everything else will work itself out.

It's counter-cultural, it's not the normal answer- but it's definitely the answer I believe will lead you to success both now and in the years to come.

Till next time...

Getting on the right path

Hi everyone,

So a few weeks ago, I encourage you all to take some time to have a think about some of the big questions in life - and now it's time to unpack them one by one - starting with the question of whether
you are on the right path in life?

If you answered yes to this question, then my words of encouragement are simple - keep going and stay focused! As you'll read about in future posts, the hardest part about getting on the path is actually staying on it when you are there. There are so many distractions trying to take you off the path and it's so easy to go down a windy road and then end up lost and spending months trying to back track. It's why when you're on the path, you need to do all you can to stay on it. Make sure you grab someone who can keep you accountable on your goals and keep making targets to achieve - do this and you'll be on your way to success.

Ok so what about the rest of us then... what about the ones who answered no to this question and are possibly aimlessly going through life with no direction as to where we want to end up.. well to those people, I say, read on below...

There are four main reasons why we feel we aren't on the right path. I'm going to list them below and beside each of them, provide my viewpoints on each of these reasons and the truth that needs to be recognised.

1. You haven't got the skills and talents to achieve your goals - now this is a common reason for people straying off the path. It's so easy to say you want to achieve something but then, you stop as it gets too hard or in your mind you aren't equipped to deal with this challenge.
   
   The thing is though, God doesn't called the equipped - he equips the called. If you are called to something, then you need to at least give it a go and put all your effort into it. If you aren't knowledgeable in an area - watch some YouTube videos, ask a friend who is knowledgeable or if needed, take a course. Also, take into account point two!
   
   
2. You're trying to do things but ain't that successful - Firstly, as I've written before, success is not just about being the best at something or being the most popular either. Sometimes, our success, as it was for Jesus, will be found when we are being challenged the most, criticised the most and ridiculed the most because what we know is right to do is so counter-cultural, it's hard for others to take it in.
   
   Secondly, you won't be able to be successful at something the first time around. It took Edison thousands of attempts before he came up with the light blub and it's going to take you a few tries before you'll even get close to being a success. The truly successful ones for the most part weren't the ones who were super talented at something at the get go - but they were the ones who persevered to learn from the adversity and rise to the top.
   
   
3. Every time I try to do something on my chosen path, there are obstacles in the way - Now
   
   before I go any further - let me say something that I didn't realise for a long time but which is very important to hear- no pathway in life is plain sailing!
   
   Look at all those who have been successful in achieving their life goals. Most of these people had numerous moments when they had setbacks, hit dead ends or just fell flat on their faces. The thing is though is that despite the obstacles, they never gave up - and neither should you. If you feel called to something - then keep striving at it.... for it is through our hard work that God can work his divine providence. Who knows, you might not achieve the goal tonight, but you've got a much better chance in 10-20 years time when you learn from your mistakes.
   
   
4. It doesn't seem like the right thing to do- now if this is you, then the first thing you need to
   
   do is get away from the computer screen, go to your favourite reflection space and take some time to reflect. You need to go and find out whether the evil one is wanting to corrupt your thinking and stop you from making a goal happen or the goal isn't the one for you.
   
   If it's the first one, then keep focused on the goal, don't believe the lies and strive for it. If it's the second one, then I would say that it's not your season be on this path right now however that doesn't mean the dream is over. Keep the dream in your back pocket because you never know when the season may change and you will be in the right place or, you'll find someone who you can help in this area of life as you'll have the experience of going through this time.

Hopefully this has helped you on your journey and stay tuned for the next blog where we'll continue to discuss these themes plus a whole lot more.

Till next time...

Reflection: A look into your life today

Hi everyone,

Ok, so once again apologies for the delay in writing. It's been a busy last month with moving, family events and then to top it all off my computer decided to breakdown... good news though is that it's back, I'm back and even more inspired to help you to be the best you can be.

Speaking of which - this idea of being the best you can be is going to be the focus of the next few blogs. I know in the last few blogs the idea has been spoken about but now I want to get real, into the details and give you the tools you need to see out the year as best as you can.

So to start off with, it's time for a bit of reflection. If we're being honest, none of us spend enough time in reflection (unless you're in an order, love to meditate or have a personality trait as such) - I know I certainly don't.

The thing is though, if we don't reflect on our lives and how we are going, then how on earth are we meant to be able to see what works, what doesn't and make those necessary tweaks along the way to being the people God calls us to be.

Below are a series of questions that are meant to make you think about how your life is at the moment - there are no right or wrong answers and if you feel you are weak at something, don't do what I sometimes do and get either worked up over it or crawl into a ball of failure. The key to this is to see the weaknesses and acknowledge them but to also be made aware of the unknown strengths and talents you may have as well. Over the coming months, I will share some of the ways in which you can harness both these areas of your life to your advantage and be the best you can be.

Q1: Am I on the path I want to be on?

Q2: Do I know where I want to go next?

Q3: Does this path involve just me or my friends and family as well?

Q4: Is my end goal fame, money, power, success or is it goal achieving, helping others and making a difference to the world?

Q5: Is there anything that I fear about the path I'm on?

Q6: If there is, what is it, and why?

Q7: Are there any roadblocks outside of fear that are stopping me on my path?

Q8: What sacrifices am I willing to make (if any) to achieve the goal?

Q9: Have I taken any steps to make the goal happen yet?

Q10: Where do I want to be in 6 months time?


I really encourage you not to just skim over these questions but to take the time to really think about the responses. Once you have, keep reflecting on these on a daily basis and in my next post I'll start going through each of these areas and explain what it means both to your life and also how to maximise your potential within these areas to make life the best it can be.

Until next time...

It's time to get real...

Hey everyone,

I went to a talk the other night from a Deacon in the United States who spoke about how one of the greatest flaws of the Western Catholic Church compared to the Eastern Catholic Rite is that we aren't willing to be real.

He spoke about how we have this amazing religion which is filled with richness and all sort of tradition and yet we have spent years trying to make the faith something that will meet the needs of modern society - giving up the great mystery and history to try to get people to connect.

In return however, people have seen the facade for what it is - a facade. They are turned off by the efforts of the church trying to be something it's not and he spoke about how young people are actually more interested in being involved in the faith when they get to see it's richness and history and experience things that they might not understand but are different to their normal lives.

All of this got me thinking... this Deacon was talking about the Church, but could the same principle apply to our lives? The answer after a few days of thought in my mind is a resounding yes.

I think that in society today, one of the biggest traps we fall into is the fact that we think that in order for someone to accept us, we need to be something that is popular or that is liked by the person we are aiming to impress.

We spend money on hair, teeth, bodies, clothes, cars, jewellery, accessories and so much more - all in the attempt to win the masses and feel accepted by someone in this expansive world we live in.

The truth of the matter is though if we're honest, most of the time this doesn't work out too well. The person on the other end either sees straight through the facade we're putting on and walks away, or they take a liking to us for a while, however as time goes on either we find it too hard to keep the facade, they see through us and the facade and feel cheated for being lied to or we end up seeing the truth and feeling we wasted our time on the whole thing.

We are made who we are for a reason. Each one of us possesses gifts and talents that no one else has in that percentage combination. It's this combination that not only make us who we are, but draws people to us as well.

In addition, people who meet us and stay with us from the get go are normally there because they like something in us - the real us, not the person who we try to become to get others approval. If this is the case, then it really is hard to fathom why we'd change ourselves from the person who people were attracted to in the first place.

I know for some of you this may be a really hard concept to believe, but it is the truth. You DO NOT need to be anyone else but yourself. Those who truly respect and care for you will accept most of this and love you for the parts they don't accept anyway. The rest, well, you need to live with them, but you don't need to try to get their approval.

So here's a challenge for you for this week - try to be yourself without any masks or pretensions for just one day. If you succeed, then try for two the week after - if not, then keep trying till you succeed then move onto the next step.

The real you, like the Deacon at the start of the story was saying about the true Catholic Church is so beautiful and amazing that if you let it shine, those around you won't be able to help looking at it and being amazed.

Till next time everyone...

Having a bad day... know you're not alone

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the lateness of this post. Between the lack of motivation to write and then having a head cold the last few days, it's been a struggle to get anything much through the keyboard.

I'm sure you're all thinking right now- I totally get you or #thestruggleisreal.

The funny thing is that while this is completely true and we know this, whenever we are having a bad day or struggling with life, we seem to think that we're in this battle alone.

I know a month or two ago I was having one of my down times and as I looked around at everyone else around me it seemed like they were having the time of their lives, while I was all by myself in this state of unhappiness and gloom.

The truth though was that this was not the case. I soon found out that several of those people I had been around had been going through their fair share of bad days as well.

Now I'm not trying to say that you should be happier because you find out that other people's lives are as problematic as yours - it's not good that anyone's life sucks, but that's just life.

What I am saying however is that the next time you feel like you're having a bad day, here's some important things to remember:

1. Everyone has bad days - they are a part of our frailty as humans
2. Bad days don't last. The sun does come out sooner or later
3. People are around to support you, so use them and don't try to fight the battle alone.

Now this last point is one of the most critical things to remember when having a bad day. While it's so easy to look at the world and either despise it or feel it's against you when things aren't going your way - it's vital that you remember that those close to you don't have it against you to make your life a misery and more so, they want the best for you.

I regularly meet up with a group of people to chat about our lives and one of the things that I've found over the last few months is that spending time with these people is not only good for sharing how I'm feeling but it's also good for others to understand and then have a greater knowledge of why things are the way they are and how they can support.

Whether it's your family, your friends or a counselor sharing your thoughts, especially when you are having a bad day is an important step in overcoming the negative space and being able move past the bad day and into the sunshine.

Another important thing to know when you're in a bad day is that overcoming the bad starts with focusing on the good. 

Now I know that sounds so cliche, but here me out. If you have a set of mantras, phrases or for those who are of the faith, bible passages that you focus on regularly in the good and bad times, then when bad times come - you can turn your attention to these and see the truth.

When I was working in youth ministry, we use to always talk about faith - fact -feelings when dealing with a situation and how so often the feelings overwhelm the rest of the process and cloud it. Having constant messages around you will help you to stop the feelings train and place the focus back on the first two - which is key to keeping positive in life.

Finally, there is one of other thing to know about when having a bad day and that's the fact you are loved by others and by God always. It's so hard to see but this is sometimes the greatest solace of all for a person having a bad day and it's why we should always keep offering encouraging words, giving hugs and doing random gifts of kindness. Our actions towards others can be the difference between several bad days and just one.

So yes, have those bad days, they are a part of life and without them, we wouldn't appreciate the good days as much as we do - but know you're not alone in having them and that there is always support to help you work to get to the sunnier side of life.

Till next time...

NB. If life's pressures are getting too much to handle or you have been diagnosed with depression or anxiety then it is vital that you seek professional help. 

Be careful of boxing yourself in

Ah boxes.. good for so many things - like carrying items, building forts, moving houses, storing files... the list goes on and on.

One thing they aren't so good for however is putting people into.

Now I know there'll be a few of you saying - but why would you do that? To those people, I meant metaphorically not literally.

There will be others who will say, but what's the problem with having a perceived idea of someone - makes it easier to choose how you'll relate to them and helps to distinguish the 'good apples from the bad ones'. Ok maybe not in so many words, but you get the picture.

Well today I'm here to share with you three reasons why putting boxes around people isn't the best idea.

1. You create a particular view of the person - Ever heard someone say.. Oh he's the funny one, or she's the pretty one, or they're the one that's good at sport?
   
   These lines, while not meaning to be harmful can sometimes be extremely dangerous if used incorrectly. By saying them, you automatically make someone out to be a particular type of person and they in turn feel they can't be anything else. They may have many more gifts - ones greater than the original, but they will never use them as they think the only thing they can be good at is the thing everyone's talking about.
   
   On the flip side of this equation, not only will the person boxed in feel like there's only particular things they can do, but the people around them start to think that there's no use in trying something as a particular person is just so good at it and I'll never get there. This is just as dangerous as it creates a single point dependency where if a person suddenly is no longer there, no one can step in to fill the breach. It also reduces people's capacity to live to their full potential, something we weren't ever created for.
   
   
2. You put yourself at risk of conflict and disappointment - Putting boxes around people means that you always expect people to be a particular way as that's the image you've formed of them.When this doesn't happen, conflict and disappointment are normally the first things to occur as people don't deal well when those around them suddenly are no longer in their box.
   
   
   
   For many reasons, people's attitudes can change and while I know I struggle with this at times, we need to let this process occur as it is an important part of growing both as a person but also in relationship with others. If you place a person in a box though, when this happens, rather than letting a person grow, you instead due to your need for control begin trying to figure out how to put a person back in the box you are so comfortable with, missing out on ways you could help another person.
   
   
3. You also get boxed in - Now this one might sound hard to believe but trust me, it's true. When you place people into a particular area of your life or give them a particular role, you also place boxes around that can affect you mentally and make you feel 'boxed in' too.
   
   Recently, I was going through a bit of a funk and was wondering what was causing it? I had no idea and the more I thought about it, the worse it got.
   
   In recent weeks, I realised the funk was caused by the fact I was so busy boxing in those around me that I'd stopped worrying about doing things that I enjoy and instead spending that time trying impress those who were around me. This worrying and bad self esteem was a result of placing people in boxes so much that I was no longer just placing them in boxes, but I was putting myself in one too.
   
   
   
   I'd spend my days worrying not only about others and how I wanted them to be, but also how they saw me at particular times and then working out ways I could be me in the boxes I could see they were placing me in. Since realising this and reminding myself of a few home truths, I can honestly say my life is a lot happier and joyous.

While it might be easy to do, as the last three points show, boxing a person into a particular lifestyle, genre or way of living is more detrimental than just sticking a label on them, it can also stop dreams, remove talents or even come back to make you insecure.

So next time you feel the need to box someone in, remember, they may be good at something or be a certain type of person, but that's just part of the story, and there's many more chapters to come,

Till next time...

The real value of Lent - Part 1

Hi everyone,

Firstly, apologies for the delay in this post and I hope that you are all having an inspired Lenten season so far.

Yes, for those who didn't realise yet - we are now in the season of Lent. It's a time where generally
people give up a lot of stuff, then go into a period of mourning over the loss of what they had like they've lost a loved one!

Now before anyone gets offended by that last sentence, I wasn't being serious and it's certainly not the truth. Sometimes however, the way people act during Lent can make it seem like this and to be honest, while it's ok to have some self pity, too much of it, especially during Lent, can take away from the real value of the season.

But wait you might be asking, isn't the value of Lent to give up something so that we can feel pain in our hearts due to the sacrifice we make?

The answer is well, no, it's not. The problem is that this is what we think Lent is all about - however it's about something so much more.

The scriptures say in Matthew 6:16-18

"And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

In this passage, Jesus shows us two things:

1. We need to be humble when fasting and giving in sacrifice
2. There is more to fasting than just the act of giving up something, otherwise Jesus would be telling us to look sad so that everyone could see us.

So if we are meant to act normally when we sacrifice something, then why are we sacrificing at all? Isn't the aim of sacrifice to show how we're giving up something for a greater good?

Well the answer to that is yes, sacrifice is meant to show how we're giving up something for the greater good - but not to others, rather to our own hearts and souls.

I remember growing up at Lent, I use to give up all sorts of things. Gave up chocolate, pizza, ice cream and so much more. I even remember one year giving up being mean to people.

The problem was though, that come Easter Sunday, I'd either gorge on food, or get back into bad habits pretty quickly and to me, it seemed like Lent then became a pointless exercise, much in the same way a person feels after having done six weight loss diets and seeing no result.

The thing that was missing though, was that every time I sacrificed something, I didn't do it with any purpose in mind. I just decided I'd sacrifice something because it's what you do at Lent.

The real value of Lent is that our sacrifice is meant to draw us closer to God, not just through being able to experience the sacrifice Jesus felt on the cross, but through making us focus on areas of our lives that we wouldn't normally take time to focus on when there's other distractions in our lives.

Now that's a big thought there, so let me simplify it a little. Say for example you are fasting from food during days of Lent -whenever you feel hungry, instead of focusing on how hungry you are, you can think about how people around the world have to live like this everyday, or how you value food over things that perhaps have more importance like family or God's will in your life.

The aim of sacrifice for God is not to experience pain, it's to discover that what we have that's earthly is meaningless compared to what God call us to and what he wants us to be. Growing in compassion, increasing in mercy or gaining value in the God given gifts of life are all part of the real value of giving more of the self to God during Lent.

The thing is though, we can't give more of ourselves if we are cluttering our minds with all sorts of stuff from the world. It's why we need times like Lent, to be able to have the idea of giving to God at the forefront of our minds and to take time away to really focus on God and his amazing work in our lives. Even though we might be giving up something small or taking up something more on top of what we have (more on that in weeks to come), what he has in store for us from doing that in a faithful way is so much more rewarding than what we gave up could ever be.

I wish you all the very best for whatever decisions you make during this Lenten season and may God continue to bless you always.

Till next time...

Don't take things to heart and don't let them get the better of you

Hi all,

Today, I want to focus on a topic of conflict because if you look in the media or even around you in your own lives at this very moment - you'd have to agree it's something we don't handle all that well.

In the past, if I got into a conflict with someone, I would have gotten annoyed at the person for making me feel unhappy and I'd have held it against them for months if not years. Now I know it sounds stupid and to be honest, it was but I know I'm not the only one who deals with issues like this. It's the reason why we have revenge and wars, it's the reason why relationships fail and it's the reason why so many of us don't get to where we want to in life.

So, what exactly do we do when we either are hurt by others or others go off at us for the mistakes we make. Well here's a few tips I have learnt over the last few years that I hope will help you with this and more importantly, help you to keep living the life you deserve to live, one filled with happiness and joy.

• Be willing to be humble - First and foremost, we must be willing to realise that we will make mistakes and we need to learn from them. Those who struggle the most in life are the ones who try to blame everything on everyone else. This isn't because they lose friends, but because they never get to see the value in owning up to your mistakes. While it may hurt at the time to be yelled or spoken poorly to for something you've done wrong, if you know you've made a mistake, it's better to apologise for a mistake and move on then try to take the high ground. While the other person may still be angry with you even after you apologise, if you can show in your actions that you are working to fix the mistakes you've made, they will see that and be more likely to give you the benefit of another chance.



• Realise it's not always about you - The other day I had someone blow up at me for something
  
  that I'd done which I thought was rather small. Now while I did get annoyed at first, I quickly calmed down when I started to think about how busy this person was doing lots of really important tasks and how much stress they probably where under at that time. It's important that before we go into automatic defense of ourselves mode, that we take a step back and see the real reason why a person is angry at us. Is it because of a mistake that we made which was an error in our judgement or maybe it's because we just added to their bad day. If it's the latter, then there's a good chance you didn't cause the them to get that angry, you're just in the line of fire for an issue that is unresolved in the other persons life. We need to not feel as if every attack on us is solely because we are being targeted, but see that there are other influences that can cause people to get upset.



• Remember that everyone makes mistakes - If you read any information about how to overcome
  
  conflict, one of the first things it will say to you is that forgiveness is the key to moving forward from tough situations. Sometimes however, it can be really hard to forgive others when they've hurt you and in those moments, this third point can be a lifesaver. It's all about realising that while the person around you may have hurt you, there's a good chance that if you look back at your day, you've probably been just as frustrated or annoyed at someone or something. We are all human, we all get annoyed sometimes - whether that's in front of people's faces or like me, in my mind while getting stuck in peak hour traffic. It's the flaw that's been around since the fall of man and the sooner we realise that we are all like this, and that no one is perfect, the sooner we will be able to give leeway to each other and realise that people don't make mistakes because they want to, they do it because they are flawed, just like we are and we need to be able to love them through that.



• Take time out - If you're busy with a million things and you don't do this, I can guarantee you
  
  from personal experience that the little things in life that would normally just annoy you, will cause you to seethe and probably get you into a confrontation with someone or something that you will regret. Instead of just allowing this to happen, make sure that if you're having a busy week, you make time to take time out to go for a walk (even for five minutes). Walking clears the mind and allows you to focus your energies on something other than the tasks at hand. I know this is hard, as I struggle to do it all the time, but we need to take breaks to cut through the issues of the world and go back to seeing the beauty in it, for once we see the beauty in the world, its issues don't ever seem nearly as bad.



• Be willing to change - We all get hurt sometimes and that's a part of human life, but no one deserves to be hurt physically or emotionally by the same person over a duration of time. After
  
  all I've said above, I'm going to say this- if you are in a continually toxic relationship with someone (whether romantic, work related or otherwise) you do not have to accept it. While we have to accept people for who they are, they also have a responsibility to change and if they don't, well, then we have every right to move on somewhere else. Do not ever feel that you need to stay in an abusive or detrimental situation for any reason. This also goes for if you have done the first four points and things still stay the same. Firstly speak to the person about how you're feeling and then if you get no change after that, then look elsewhere. You deserve to be able to be free, proud and happy to be yourself always. There are always going to be dark and tough days, but if those become months and years, then get out and do something that brings the sun to your life, because you were made for that and deserve nothing less.

Know I'm praying for you all in this and keep striving to resolve the conflicts in your life- it will be so much better for you doing so.

Until next time...

Love has the power to overcome all

Hi everyone,

The last few months have been one of worldwide tragedy. We've had the Charlie Hebdo shootings, the continual death of civilians and children at the hands of the Boko Haram and the death a few months ago of hundreds of young ones in a brutal set of circumstances in Pakistan. Even when it wasn't terrorism related, there were communities hurting with the death of eight children in Cairns. It's truly been heartbreaking to read a newspaper or turn on a TV, computer, tablet or phone.

And all of this before we talk about the Martin Place or Sydney siege.

That chilling 18 hours that sent a shudder down the spine of every Sydneysider and Australian, including myself. The actions of a truly mad man which have changed the way we view our freedom with the sudden realisation that we are not immune to the terror that has split blood all over the world.

One would be excused if they were to run away from the world right now and becomes a recluse in a cave or to think that the good in this world has disappeared.

In the midst of all the pain, suffering, heartache and sadness though, there has been a silver lining. It is something that has renewed my hope on the good in life and brought a smile to my face.

It is clear to see in the way that thousands of people got onto social media to support those of the Islamic/Muslim faith, in the thousands of flowers of condolence that are now streaming through Martin Place. It is clear, whether you agree with the work of Charlie Hedbo, in the support that was given across France to the fight against radicalism and the promotion of freedom. It is clear in the increased value we are placing on those around us in the world today...

What I'm talking about, is of course, the gift of love.

Like a sprout peering through the ground in the first rains after a drought, the love and care shown by Australians towards each other and in particular those of middle eastern faith has been so pleasing to see and a sign of the growth of our nation.

In the face of severe adversity and hatrid in so many ways, we as a community have risen up to show those who want to cause such hurt and angst that they will never win this battle, not while we have love on our side.

Sometimes we think of love as this emotion that comes with flowers, chocolates, happy moments and smiles in abundance. We think of it as the Valentines Day Hollywood romance of a couple who are so into each other that they can't think of spending a day without each other.

While this is a form of love, eros- there's another form of love that exists, and that's Agape.

Agape is that love that we build our charitable spirit through. It comes out in the darkest of times and is the building block of our lives. It is the gift God gives us to help one another and to create a better world even when it seems like there's no hope to do so.

Right now in this world, we need to make 2015 the year of Agape. In the midst of all the craziness, fear and destruction, we need to stand strong for our fellow man or woman and love them for the people God made them to be.

There will always be moments of hurt in our lives, it's a part of the broken world we live in. But if we choose to love one another with charity, respect and care, then we can overcome the hurt and find ways to live lives of joy and virtue in all that we do.

To live with an Agape love though isn't just a one off thing, It's a daily choice we need to make no matter how much we don't want to love on that particular day. I will in future blogs go into how we can do this but needless to say that if we want to have love in our lives, we must make that choice.

Sometimes the world might not seem like it deserves to be loved, but it always does. Not because there is something great happening in it (although there always is) but because we remember that love has the power to overcome all, as St Paul said... there are three things, faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love.

Tragedy and love are a part of life, it's up to us as to which one we allow to rule.

Till next time...

Resolution 2015: Expect the unexpected

Hi everyone!

HAPPY NEW YEAR and hope that you had a wonderful end to 2014 and are enjoying a well earned rest today.

It's that time of the year again - the start of another year and that means of course, time for a lot of people to write up their resolutions. Regardless of whether we say we have them or not, everyone has something they want to achieve over 2015 - whether it's to be healthier, love themselves, love others, do something or make something happen.


The thing that the last year has taught me however is that resolutions have one slight flaw to them - they are what we want to achieve!

Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having goals, but it's important to note that what we want to achieve, and God's plans for us, don't always follow the same path. Just because we want to do something, doesn't mean that it'll work into God's great plan for our life and a lot of the time, we'll end up somewhere very different to where we wanted to be at the start of the journey.

If you want an example of this, here's what I thought was going to happen in 2014 and what actually happened...

• I would be working to make a difference to the lives of young people - OK so this did sort of happen, but not in the way I was expecting. I was thinking I was going to be a youth worker and spend day after day with young people, but in actual fact, I instead now work for the administration team at an organisation that has young people at it's heart - which while it isn't dealing with young people day in day out, is still very important as if we didn't do what we do, then the programs that help young people wouldn't be able to be as effective as they are.
  
  
• I would be doing my communications and writing as a hobby, rather than a profession and due to lack of interest I would leave the communications industry - Big NOPE. Not only do I work in a Marketing and Communications team in employee communications, I'm actually happy to be doing it and I get a lot out of the challenges of the business and the fun dynamics in the team I work with.
  
  
• I would be growing the efforts of my local diocese and using my skills from my time in youth ministry to grow local initiatives- Big NOPE. God had something much bigger planned and now I write this knowing that in three days I am headed to a leadership camp for a movement that is not only going to hopefully bring many back to the Church, but that has inspired me to use my gifts and talents for a much bigger cause. I've stepped down from doing projects locally but I do so knowing God has called me to something that is so necessary and that I'm so blessed to be a part of.

These three are just some of the many cases of how in 2014, what I thought would happened was skewed or completely changed when it went through the dealings of life and when I trusted the will of God instead of my own.

Now there are no complaints from me about the plans changing. Sure there were challenges in 2014, but I wouldn't have that year any other way. God showed me a plan greater than I could have ever imagined and it's made me realise the need to trust him so much more with life and not want to take so much control over things.

And that's the thing we must remember. No matter how many resolutions we make, we will never know the amazing plan God has for us that could trump all of these and make our lives greater than we could ever dream.

So in 2015, I invite you to make resolutions, to strive to be the best you can be. I also however suggest that you be willing to change these resolutions along the way or even be open to new ideas - because in the end, there could be a result at the end of the year that will make you wonder why you even made those resolutions at all.

Wishing you all a wonderful year ahead!

P.S. New blog posts will happen fortnightly from this post onwards. This is due to more time being spent on external projects and also so that I can achieve my 2015 resolution - to catch up with those family and friends I haven't seen in a long time.

The 5 reasons why persistence is the key

Persistence- it's a word we get told so often that sometimes it loses it's meaning. If you're struggling with something, the first thing someone will normally do is say... 'Oh it's ok, just keep persisting and you'll get there'.

But just why is persistence so important. Why can't we just try something, not do well at it and then move on to something else?

Well hopefully these next five points will answer the question above and also give you the will to persist in all areas of your life, no matter how challenging they may be...

1. It builds character - If we never failed at things, we wouldn't be able to know what we were truly good at, what we've been placed on this world for and how we are called to make a difference. In a similar way, if we gave up on everything we do after the first attempt, we'd never know what we're good at either. We need to persist to know who we are and what our limits are.



2. It helps change the world - If we didn't persist through things, greatness would never occur. Imagine if Martin Luther King had given up at his first attempt of trying to rally for equal rights or Steve Jobs had given up after the downturn in Apple while he was exiled from the company in the mid 90s. The reason that great things occur is because people are willing to mess up time and time again until they get it right. I always like to think of Thomas Edison for this one. 1000 attempts and he didn't get it but when he did, the light bulb change history as we know it forever- and it was all due to persistence.



3. Because the aim of life isn't to be perfect - a guy who was formerly in the Army once said to me that the people who didn't succeed in the army were normally not the ones who lacked skills on arrival, but the ones who lacked the attitude to keep going when they hit obstacles. The same is true about life. If there's one thing I've learnt this year it's that most things don't get perfectly achieved on the first turn. The key to anything becoming successful is that you keep pushing on with your passion and if you learn from the mistakes made, you will normally go far.



4. Because God calls us to do it - For those who are reading this who are filled with the faith of Christ, well this point is probably the greatest reason to be persistent. Throughout the Bible, God talks about how we will only understand the greatness he wants to give us if we are willing to be patient and open to his glory. There are so many passages about how people stumble but God uses them for greatness through their persistence and I encourage you all to read them (Galatians 6:9, Proverbs 24:16, Luke 11:5-10) for through this you will just how powerful persistence is, especially when it comes to God.
   
   



5. It inspires others to greatness - Think about all those people you look up to in life. Now think about whether or not they were first up success stories. In most cases, the answer is no. People normally look up to those who have done great things, but who they can also relate to. I know for me, those I look up to, like the late Nelson Mandela, JPII, all made mistakes, but they also persisted to do amazing things. Whenever you are feeling down and challenged, see it as a chance to overcome adversity and inspire people along the way. Your persistence drives others through their challenges and that is only a good thing.

So there you have it, five reasons why persistence is the key. I hope this inspires you all on your journeys to greatness and keeps you focused on the real prize no matter how tiring the road ahead is.

Till next time...

Be open to God's response

Hi all,

It's good to be back with you all. Been a crazy few weeks with lots of projects and no internet but I'm here now and really looking forward to writing today's piece, cause it's something that I'm really passionate about.

Yesterday I was at a wonderful advent retreat and we were asked to do some reflection on some bible passages. One of them was about how the Israelites prayed for a leader and the arrival of John the Baptist. It talks about how John is seen by all those around him as the Messiah because he seems to be a great leader, in line with the law of the time and a real man of the people. However as we find out, there's another one coming- Jesus- who is the actual Messiah, but who is completely not what the people were expecting- someone who challenges their laws, who turns the establishment upside down and who shows all what it truly means to be a man of God, more than just laws, it's about heart as well.

As I read this passage, it got me thinking about how many other times in the bible something like this happens and in the end, it happens a lot.

It seems to be God's way of working. He always answers the prayers of the bible, yet he does it in ways no one could have imagined and ways that aren't always the expected.

So the question has to be asked- if God has been like this since the early days- why is it that ten of thousands of years later (ok maybe just thousands), we still haven't got the message?

We still ask for things and then expect them to appear and get annoyed when they don't happen, meanwhile they are happening, just not in the way we expected.

We need to become a lot more aware of what is happening around us and realise that everything that happens in our lives is due to God- and sometimes, the answers to what we seek are in those things that are happening around us, if only we just took the time to look at them more closely.

Take case in point my asking God for a way to continue to minister and help people after last year. 

I thought that he'd put me in a job in Youth Ministry and I honestly thought I'd be doing stuff with young people now and that was the end of the plan, but God, as always had bigger and greater plans.

I could have never imagined I'd be part of a group that is going on the massive task of working to bring those disconnected back to their faith. Not just youth, but all people. I also didn't think I'd be using all my talents, whether they are youth, communications and marketing, video and tech, vocal or welcoming in one place. I am doing this though and that is only because I realised that while this wasn't what I asked God for in the first place, it was where he wanted me to be and that he was answering my prayer- even if the response was slightly off centre.

Whenever we ask for something from God, we need to realise that: 

1. He is always going to ensure it happens if it's in his will for us, he loves us too much not to do it
2. He is working on his time, not ours, so it may take years to happen
3. He going to do it when it will be best for our lives, not when it is quickest
4. He's not always going to do it in the way asked, but always in the way that's best for us.
   

The sooner we all become more open to God's response, the greater our lives will be, for we will be able to see around us all the amazing works God is doing, even in the smallest of things.

I say this because I know from personal knowledge that this is the case. I've always been a person who focused on what I asked for and if it didn't happen, blamed myself for not doing enough or I got frustrated.

In the last few years however and especially this year, I've become a lot more aware of things around me and I'm realising that while my prayers aren't always answered the way I hoped for, they are being answered and God's way is so much greater as I'm learning amazing lessons and growing even more in myself and who I am every single day.

It's why I encourage you all to be more open to God's response, as I want you to experience what I have been blessed to. Listen for God in every space of your life and don't restrict yourself to the requests you ask God for and the set way you think that should play out- for God's way is always so much greater.

Till next time...