Set yourself free... stop being addicted!

A few months ago, I was reading an article in the newspaper about a footballer and his struggles to overcome a gambling addiction, just another person to add in the long list of pages dedicated to people who are struggling with one thing or another.

Addictions these days seem to be a part of the lives of those we hear about in the media. Famous people are constantly struggling with addictions with drugs, sex, alcohol, partying, self image. Their stories fill up the pages of our magazines, the news feeds on our phones, the Twitter feed and Facebook news snippets. You'd be forgiven for thinking that this is a new found famous person disease and that addictions only happen to you once you become popular, successful and have things to get addicted to.

It is important for us all to realise though, that we are not immune to addictions. I once read a piece from one of those famous 70's rockers that talked about addictions. The fact I can't remember the name of the rocker or where it came from means the article wasn't that good, but I do remember the one line that stood out to me, and that was this... Everyone is addicted to something.

Ok so perhaps this rocker just wanted to feel less guilty about their past actions, but the essence of this is still true.

The fact is, we are all at a vice to something- it is what makes us human. The fall of man put us here and anyone who say that they aren't affected by addictions is in my opinion either lying or unable to see the very thing they are addicted to.

Sure you might not be addicted to drugs, alcohol or pornography/sex (the common social addictions we hear about every day) but there are plenty of other addictions in our lives. You could be addicted to power, fear of failure,  food, self gratification, money, fitness, self pity- the list is endless.

I personally have numerous vices in my life that I constantly need to work on, I won't go into them now, but needless to say, I am not immune.

But if everyone is addicted or has a vice to something, then what's the big deal? Surely it's all about the level you are addicted to something that matters?

Well the answer to that is yes and no.

There is nothing wrong with being attracted to something. Our attractions- whether they are to people, to activities, to things- they help us to see what it is we are called for on this earth and the things that we are passionate about. Attraction to something can also help us to better appreciate the great things God has created in this world, increase our sense of gratitude and draw us closer to God through what he has given to us.

This is the line I want to focus on... Attraction is designed to help us draw closer to God through what he has given to us.

The issue with addiction (unless it's addiction to Jesus and even that's got conditions which I'll explain later) is that it normally goes from something that draws you closer to God, to something that replaces God.

Take for example the very simple idea of being interested/attracted to technology. There's nothing wrong with wanting to use a phone, the internet, emails etc.- we need these things to communicate in the world today.

The problem is though, our attraction can become an addiction very quickly if we don't watch it. We start seeing phones on TV and wanted that one because even though we bought our other phone a month ago, this one is better, so we buy it. This really doesn't make us any better than anyone else for having done this and we could have spent that money helping a charity or being generous to friends and family - the things that God calls us to as people.

Just as big a problem is to make sure that we aren't just doing something or interested in something because of the perceived need that it can bring us. When it comes to the technology issue at hand, whilst having interest in technology and using it isn't an issue- when it is used because we feel it can achieve a particular status symbol or having the latest tech will make us stand out more in the crowd- that is an issue. We should find our identity in knowing Jesus loves us and that's what matters- no matter how hard I know at times I find it to believe that as I'm lured by the traps of everything the world has to offer.

When it comes to non material things- like, as Robert Palmer said in his 80's classic- being addicted to love, the same principle applies. If you are with someone because they will offer you something, you feel they fill a hole missing in your life or you see them as being a way to better your status- it's time, in my opinion, to seriously re-think your relationship objectives- because these things can't be solved by anything but God's love- he solved the achings of our heart already, all we need to do is turn to him and be open to this love.

Which nicely leads me to the idea of being addicted to Jesus. Surely there's nothing wrong with that?

Well actually, there is. If you are sitting in a Church all day and not coming out as you feel that any contact with the outside world might ruin your relationship with Jesus, then you might need to check to see if you are living out God's call in your life. Jesus spent time in prayer- but he also spent time with the people, and more importantly, those who were seen as the least in society. It's important to have a strong faith life in the Church, but it's equally as important to live faith by action.

Even those in cloistered communities or living as hermits realise this. While they might not spend time with a lot of people and may spend time sitting in the Church all day, they are always praying for others and their hearts are set on others needs- which is what matters.

There is nothing wrong with having a complete and utter attraction and love to Jesus- it's what those in the religious life (priests, brothers, sisters/nuns) are all about. When your addiction to Jesus however becomes a status symbol to laud over your friends, or when a church, church group or youth group becomes a way to get out of dealing with family problems, issues of self worth, lack of security etc., then you've replaced God with something else.

No matter what your attraction is, whether it's to another, a particular activity, object or even to your church, it should never stand in the way of God's call in your life and ensuring that you live for him always.

At the end of it day, everything we have on earth is for this time on earth, which is a second compared to the infinite years of live with God, so rather than concern yourself with the now, set yourself free. Enjoy life and have many great interests and things you treasure, but make sure that at the end of the day, you treasure God first and foremost, because this is where true happiness comes.

The real truth of life Part 1

WOW, I just realised it is nearly two months since I last wrote on here and since then, quite a bit has happened. Two of my closest friends are now married, I have a new job which I am really enjoying, I am doing loads of really exciting things but I think the best thing of all has been that God has been revealing to me a lot of wisdom recently, and that's I guess what this post is all about.

I've realised in the last few weeks, that there are so many myths that I have spent my many years believing that I now realise, aren't the truth at all. These are things that have stopped me from achieving what I needed to and when I sit here now and think about them, I am sure they are also things others are either going through or have gone through, so I thought I'd share them here to offer support and a common sharing to those who might need it.

Myth Number 1- You need to do something amazing to be successful.

For a long time in my life, I believed that it was only through doing amazing things that one became a success. I read so many stories of famous people who got their big break and it was that one moment that made them the people they were today, and so I spent large amounts of my time chasing that one moment. What it meant though was that I was never satisfied with where I was at as I always searching to get to that great day when I will do something amazing and everyone will love me for it, not realising that I was doing amazing things in what I was doing and people were loving me for it already.

Truth: To be successful it is about doing great things every day of your life. Even in the little things, if you do them with the passion you have for your biggest dreams, you will be successful. We need to do the little things right to make the building blocks for the bigger things, so start small, work hard and you will see results.

Myth Number 2- If you're achieving your goals now, you're a failure.

Yes, this might sound really silly, but this was my belief for a long time (probably until the last year). I was always trying to achieve my goals in my time, not realising that in the end, it's God's time, not mine and he decides when I get things done. There's no truth to this rumour at all, because firstly, now might not be the time God needs you to achieve your goal and secondly, there maybe a much for pressing matter or need that has to be dealt with first before you move to this goal or there maybe something you need to do first to achieve this goal. As I said in the post before, there's no use achieving a goal if there's no building blocks behind it and you're going to stumble right away.

Truth: It is really true what they say- life is about the journey, not so much the destination. I've written about this before, but I'll re-iterate. It's important to have a goal and to aim for it- this gives us purpose and reason to live life- especially if your goal is to be the best person God calls you to be. You must however, be willing to enjoy the journey along the way. There's going to be great highlights and tough struggles but every moment, if you embrace it, will prove a useful experience. The struggles teach us what we need to give to God and also give us the strength to fight and support others who might go through our struggles in the future- while the highlights, well they are there as chances to remind ourselves in the tough times that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel- but if we're too busy looking at what we haven't achieved, we will miss them and remain in the darkness.

Myth Number 3- I need to be in control of my life, right now to be truly happy

Similar to the point above, I always felt I needed to be in control of my life to be happy. This meant that I would worry as I wasn't in a relationship when others were, I would worry I didn't have a job when others did, I would worry that I wasn't doing as well as others. I was at a meeting at work the other week and we were talking about the idea that when a situation confronts us, we are automatically set into the flight position as we fear it, but we need to be able to move towards the fight position, so that while we don't have to argue about it, we can confront it and see the truth. In this case, it was my perceived reality that if I wasn't where I needed to be and in control, life was a mess and I was going to be seen that way- but the truth is so far from this it is.

Truth: What I've realised, is that life is full of moments of not having control, but that is because it calls us to trust in the one who knows better than us on so many things, and that is of course God. I might not have it all together at the moment, but for the first time in probably 10 years, I am feeling alive, loving life and am excited about the things that are happening. I know this is because unlike before, I'm now trusting God to deliver in his own time. I might want many things, a person to spend a lifetime with, a job that will help me get to my goal of being a motivational writer, a way to give of myself to help make a difference to all, but I also know that this will be done in God's time, not mine. There's so many minutes left in this life and so many more in eternity and God's plan is so much greater than anything I could imagine, so I just need to keep doing what he's calling me to and trust in that. Yes it's hard, but it's so much easier than spending everyday worrying about what is going to happen next.

There's many more myths that I know I could write about and I'm sure I will in due course, but I think the key to them all is that when we are feeling stressed out, worried or feel as if our lives have lost their direction or course, to take time out and search for the real truths. It's really easy to get wound up in the problems of life, but while it maybe harder to accentuate the positives, this is where you will find the real joys of life and with that, be able to live out life to the best you can and get the most out of it, and isn't that what we all really want?

Till next time..

Show me.. how big your brave is! aka. Be yourself!

Hey everyone,

Hope you're having an awesome week and really enjoying life :)

Firstly, the title of this post is inspired by the amazing Sara Bareilles, whose song has been stuck in my head for the last few days- oh and the incredible events of this past week, so for those who wanted a music review, sorry to disappoint you on that one ;).

Ok so onto this post. And I guess the big message I want to say to each one of you is that you are amazing, incredible people who are loved, appreciated and who are called to make a difference.

Yes, this is no joke- my entire reason for writing this post is to tell you this message above. If you don't get anything else out of what is being written, then take that last paragraph with you till you enter eternal life and beyond.

The last few months since I've been off NET, I've been constantly surrounded by the real world and working to readjust to it. One that shows us up for who we are, one that makes us believe we are lesser than the people we are called to be. Whether it be the disappointments of life, the continually reading of stuff in the media saying we got to be this or that or just our own lack of belief- there is so much out there which stops us from being who we are.

The thing is though, we have a choice. We can choose to accept this lie, yes lie, as a truth, or we can choose to see the real deal, the one that God told us from the early days. The one spoken about in Psalm 139, where it says: I praise God for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Now let's look at this for a second. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

In saying that you are fearfully made- that means that you are powerful, incredible, greater than you could ever imagine. It means that you don't have to be anyone but yourself because nothing can bring you down, you are made as an epic structure of God's image- one that he believes in so much, that he made you to be a sight that if you are your true self, others cannot help to be amazed by.

Then there's being wonderful. You are not wonderful first and foremost because you have done amazing things, sculpted an incredible body, been a hero. You are wonderful because you are a child of God. Every single person in the world is wonderful in their own right and we need to realise that and cherish it. When we do, it makes the world a better place and allows us to be great at the talents we are given by God.

Over the last few days, I've seen how amazing this message, when truly understood and believed can be. I've seen young men and women whose lives have been changed for the better and who are showing their full potential just by being acknowledged, loved and accepted. It was an honour to be chosen by God to help them to see this and in a lot of ways, it reminded me of the message too of believing in yourself, which I know I desperately needed.

I also want to mention that I've been loving the last few days seeing the success of sport stars who aren't afraid to be themselves off the field/court. I watched Genie Bouchard on Tuesday and saw incredible talent on a court, but then I laughed at her doing Gangnam Style with one of my other tennis favs Laura Robson on Youtube. I got to see James Faulkner win the game for Australia then was amused by his interview on TV at an awards ceremony a few days later. People like this remind us all that it's not the superstars who try to be something they're not that will be the victors in the end, but the ones who capture the hearts and minds of the masses will be the real and honest people, the ones who are proud of who they are in every moment.

So I encourage you, go out there and be the best person you can be.. the world will really appreciate you a whole lot more for who you are and when people knock you down, get back up, knowing that firstly God appreciates you always for what you do and secondly, that there are people who appreciate you for who you are, you just haven't found them yet!

Peace out all :)

Untangling the cords of life...

Hi Everyone :)

I was looking the other day for the power cord to charge my camera battery and as I searched, I discovered something like this- a whole heap of cords tangled together under my bed.

I couldn't even tell you what half of these cords belonged to- they just were there. They didn't have a purpose, well not until I started going through them all. It was as I went through each one of them, that I remembered what they were all for. The cord to my old phone I'd recycled, the spare cord to my mobile, the cord for the laptop (no idea how it was there, I used that the day before!)

It's funny how when we just bundle things together and leave them lying around, they can just become a big ball of twisted wire- they lose their shape and their individual uniqueness, until we pull them apart and categorise them into the device from which they came from. It is then that we realise their value and are reminded about how important they really are (well because frankly, without them, you wouldn't be able to use half the stuff in your house!)

When it comes to our lives, I think that the same sort of scenario can sometimes happen. We are full of gifts and talents and abilities, but the moment we are rejected, not used in the way we think we should be by others, we start to feel a bit outdated compared to our compatriots, then we start to see ourselves as a bunch of useless cords- with no purpose what so ever.

I remember about two and a half years ago, I was sitting here at this very computer after writing yet another version of a presentation for the place I was working for. I was tired, it was late and I remember asking myself.. what exactly is my worth in this world? I could write, I could promote, but hey, so can everyone else, especially the external company I was working with, who seems to do it a lot better than I could- just what was the reason for doing what I did. It's funny, because it was that conversation that led to me where I am now- although I'd never have guessed it at the time!

In my mind, I'd used up my talents- I'd gotten to a point where I wasn't able to go past the point of where I was- l was ready to be unplugged and thrown with the rest of the old stuff in a bundle to float, to keep doing what I was doing- even though those around me kept telling me I was able to do so much more.

The great thing is though, while we see our lives as full of bundled up messes of cords, God sees them more like this...

He has amazingly ensured that every single one of our gifts and talents are categorised and that when he needs us to use them, he can pull them out so that we can shine out for others.

In the last two years, I can't tell you the number of times I have had my gifts and talents used by God. I remember one time where I was talking to a teenager at a school and he was telling me about how he questioned God and whether he was real or not. I had no idea what to say to this guy, I could have told him everything I knew and there was a good chance it wouldn't change his mind one bit.

Luckily, while I had no idea what cord of my life to plug in to help this guy out, God did. I talked to this guy about his interests, of which one was photographing nature and then told him about something I'd been reading a few days earlier which talked about how the most beautiful things we create as humans are skyscrapers, monuments and technological advances, yet the most beautiful things of the world are trees, flowers and animals. I explained to him that for me, if there was no God, then this wouldn't be the case. He got it and while he didn't change his mind at that time, he was appreciative of my response and said that he did agree with it, but there was more to think about before deciding one way or another.

It's amazing how God uses our talents and gifts in ways we could never imagine possible and how he's been doing it since the beginning of time, for as it says:

"'For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness" - (Romans 12:4-8 NRSV)

The key for each one of us is to keep believing in the power of God to untangle the cords of life. Never stop seeing the amazing possibility that God has for you and never stop trying to make the lives of another better. No matter what you are feeling at this very moment, know this- you may feel as if your worth is a lot less than it really is, but God always sees your true worth and He will ensure that it is valued, in his time and place.

Until next time...