Stay positive- there's plenty of good happening in the world!

Hey everyone!

With all the horrible headlines and threats to life this week, I wouldn't blame you for thinking that things aren't as good as they were say a year ago, or five years ago.

Problem with thinking like this is, when we do it, we lose sight of the fact that while these incidents happening around the world are terrible, they only make a fraction of what the world is about and as renowned motivational guru Tony Robbins said in a video I watched this week, it's what we react to that shapes how we react.

Now if that last paragraph sounds a bit confusing, let me spell it out to you- In order to feel good about the world, you need to see the good in it first.

This isn't always easy to do, but this week I'm here to help. Rather than going on about tips and hints and ideas though, I'm instead going to show you three stories that will help you to see that the world is full of good stuff happening and it needs your help.

I hope that by doing this, I'll inspire you, no matter what you are feeling about the world at the moment, to take a fresh perspective and focus on making a difference for the better. We can't always stop people from doing terrible things, but we can go out there and bring happiness to the world instead.

So here it is... three signs of good in the world!

Number 1: Socktober- spreading love through donation of socks and other items to the homeless

Number 2: Check out these high school students inspiring an 8 year old with Down Syndrome to greatness!

http://www.qutnews.com/2014/10/10/mobile-laundry-helps-the-homeless/#.VEw2qfmSwrW

Number 3: Orange Sky Laundry- a great idea to ensure Brisbane's less fortunate have dignity and respect through washing of their clothes on a regular basis.

Why we need to be merciful and forgive

Ok, you might be asking, why am I writing a blog on the need to forgive and be merciful, isn't that like humanity 101? Why tell me something I already know?

The thing is though, we might know about forgiving and being merciful, but do we really understand the power it offers, not only to help others, but to help ourselves.

St Augustine once said something along the lines of forgiveness happening when we "surrender our natural desire for revenge".

What that means is that to forgive, which as I've written before is key to being able to move on with life, we must first be willing to offer mercy.

Being merciful means that we are willing to drop any anger or hurt we have against someone, and love them for who they are. We must accept that like us, they are flawed and will make mistakes sometimes. We don't always have to agree with them and we can fight for our rights and beliefs, but at the end of the day, we understand those around us are valued by God and so we should value them as well.

Our soon to be Blessed Paul VI said it well when he proclaimed "Anger is like throwing a stone into a wasp nest."

If you're angry at someone, something or even at yourself, you are more likely to experience negative effects from it, like you would if you threw a stone into a wasps nest and thousands of wasps tried to sting you.

We must realise as people that we don't need that kind of pain and we don't deserve it. God wants us all to live happy and fulfilled lives, but we won't be able to do that if we are angry and aren't willing to be merciful.

Here's five ways to stop increase your ability to show mercy in your life:

1. See others values, not their faults.
2. Be willing to accept when you make a mistake, it's ok, you are human and that's a part of this fact. The key is to learn from the mistakes and grow.
3. Start seeing things from others views, rather than just your own.
4. Be kind and supportive of others before your needs.
5. Read about those of greatness and humility. Their stories normally will help you see what's really important.

Once we are being merciful, then we are more likely to see reason to forgive for the mistakes we make. In my opinion no one can try to forgive before they experience mercy, that's like trying to walk through a glass door before you've opened it.

After mercy comes forgiveness. Now forgiveness is important because it's ok to be merciful but if we don't forgive as part of that, no matter how much we might want to say we are being merciful, it will be hard as there will be past hurts and pains to challenge our decisions when it comes to mercy.

We need to clear out those past pains and hurts and the only way we can do that is by forgiving those who hurt us. Doesn't have to be face to face (although that'd be great), just as long as you do it. Every step you take is one step closer to moving on and being able to live life on your terms, free of the past.

Here's five important things to remember when looking at forgiveness?

1. Have I been hurt by others or by something I did that didn't work out?
2. Am I willing to accept that tomorrow is a new day and I ain't letting this get me down?
3. Have I looked at the bible and seen the forgiveness Jesus has for us?
4. Do I want to forgive or am I still grieving over the issue?
5. If I do want to forgive, what am I doing about it?

Our own Lord's prayer- the Our Father has the line "as we forgive those who trespass against us", now if that's not a sign of the importance of forgiveness, then I don't know what is.

Furthermore however, forgiving yourself and others and showing mercy in all situations will lead to less stress, more social interaction and overall better health. 

Don't believe me, then check out this video...

So why not give a little bit of thought to being merciful and working to forgive yourself and others this week for the mistakes in life, not only will it free them and help them to move on, but more importantly, it will do the same for you.

Life isn't meant to be lived in the mistakes of the past, it's lived in the greatness of the now!

Till next time..

Why it's sometimes better not to have it all...

It's the message we get bombarded with every day- to be happy, you need to have it all. If you don't have the latest in phone technology, you should probably upgrade. If you're not happy with your current relationship status, then there's a solution (or several hundred). If you want to get that car but don't have the money, well there's a loan company ready to give you a hand.

It is so easy to get caught up in this society that says that when you see something you want, you should get it. I know I do on a regular basis. Oh and don't even get me started about what society says must happen when you don't get what you want.

Which is why, it was quite refreshing to be read the words of St John XXIII today that say...

"Feelings of my smallness and nothingness always kept me good company."

Now I have to admit, I do have a soft spot for John XXIII as the patron saint of my Parish. It is also his Saint day today but putting all that aside, these are some true words of wisdom we should all take note of in our lives.

While feeling in adequate or being treated badly is not right and should not be tolerated, I personally think that is not what John XXIII is talking about here. What he is talking about, is the fact that he comes from a poor family and like our current Pope Francis, lived a very humble life without much money or possessions, yet he didn't see that as a burden, but rather a blessing.

You see, sometimes it is good not to have everything. Just take a moment to think about what would happen if you did have everything you wanted.

Ok so not sure about you, but I'm pretty sure that if I had everything I wanted right now I would be relying solely on myself to make things happen, I'd be pretty unapproachable as others would see me as elitist over them even if they were my 'friends' and I know I wouldn't value things as much as I do know.

For me, having it all would mean the loss of who I am- I wouldn't be as strong in my faith, I wouldn't care about others as I wouldn't know what it means to not have and I wouldn't be grateful as I'd have so much I would just think it's normal, not special.

Feeling like you aren't the best at something or that you are missing something isn't the worst thing in the world. It can actually be a massive advantage if you think about it. 

Humility in yourself can lead you to:

• Better relate to others
• Have greater gratitude in what you have
• See the important things in life as important
• Trust in God rather than yourself

The key is to never see yourself as less than another. If you read one of my earlier pieces on this topic, it says that you should never see yourself as less or greater than anyone, but rather see them as your equal- as we each have unique gifts and talents to offer.

So let's all work today to live a life of humility instead of a life of wanting it all. If there's anytime today when you see something and you feel like I want that or why is that happening to that person but not me, then I strongly encourage you to step away and ask

1. Is this something I want rather than need?
2. Is this a chance to be humble?
3. Is there something in my life I can be grateful for ahead of this?

If the answer is yes to any of these three questions, then remind yourself about the words of St John XXIII listed above and move on. Doing so I can assure you will bring a lot more contentment long term than the object of desire ever will.

Till next time...

Think before you act...

I've recently discovered that I do something that's is really not that great.. something that I'm sure I'm not alone in doing, something that I until recently did without even knowing I did it, but that drastically affects everything that I do.

I've recently discovered that I base how I feel at a particular time on the attitudes of those around me.

I can be in the happiest mood in the world, but if I am surrounded by people who are less than happy, I will quickly go from being happy, to being miserable in a very short space of time. Same thing goes with me losing confidence around those who aren't confident in themselves and being less caring when I'm around those who perhaps don't see caring for others as high on their priority list.

Now I know the simple answer to this new found problem would be to just hang around really positive, happy, caring people all day. To be honest though, number one- I want to be around real people who do have ups and downs and number two- even happy people have bad days, so this isn't really the best solution.

The other option is I could just give into the change in attitude and accept it as a part of life. The thing is, I'm starting to realise that when I do that, I am no longer me. I don't feel like I can laugh as much, dance as much or just be a bundle of fun as much, which to be honest, is not what  I want.

So what's the solution? How can I spend time with real people, without losing who I am?

Well as I've found out, the answer is as simple as making sure I think before I act.

Whenever we are in a situation and something changes the situation, we get one of two options. The first is we can go with the situation and let the journey take its course, or number two, we can go back to what we know is real and true, compare it to the situation and then if it doesn't, go back to the path we know best.

The key here is not so much which option we take, but more that we realise there are options in the first place. 

For example, the other day, I was in a really happy mood, when someone came up to me who was in a tired mood while I had a task to do. Very quickly, because I didn't realise what was going on, I was sucked into that person's tiredness and lack of energy for the task at hand and I too became like this, while at the same time getting frustrated as the person had led me to this feeling. It was only after I had left that task and gone to do something else that I realised that I wasn't tired, but rather the person I was with was making me feel like that through observing their tiredness.

If that didn't make sense, here's a simple explanation:

If I yawn, then the person watching me is likely to yawn too in the minutes following. That person however if they catch that I've yawned early enough, can make the choice not to yawn.

It's important to realise that when we start feeling a certain way, very quickly, without us noticing it, it is normally due to an external influence around us. Realising this allows you to then take steps to work on it or keep focus on positive things in life to get you out of that space.

As Winston Churchill said, "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference". Don't let someone else's bad day make yours a bad one,

I encourage everyone this week to think before they act. If you're feeling angry at someone or been around someone whose had a bad day, before continuing in your task, go for a walk outside, clear your mind and then come back. Doing so will help clear the anger in your head and allow you to make more rational and appropriate responses.

In addition to this, if you're in a good mood, don't let anyone stop that, let alone someone in a bad mood. It's OK to help a person if they need it or share their hurt, but it doesn't mean that your lose your good mood because of it.

It's up to you as to how you feel, so think before you act on anything that you maybe feeling and stay true to yourself always, I know I will be from now on.

Till next time...

Why we need to be aware of the environment we live in

Have you ever heard the saying 'You are what you eat'? 

I'm sure you have and for most of us, it makes a fair bit of sense. If you eat junk food, you're more likely to be unfit and at risk of illness compared to if you eat healthy food. It's a pretty simple concept to understand.

But what about the idea that 'You are where you live', Does this statement have any truth to it?

The answer is in a lot of ways, yes and yes. 

Now before I go any further, I want to make clear that every person can change their circumstance no matter where they are. If you really want to make something different, you can do it.

Why I'm saying yes though is because for the most part, unless you really make a conscientious effort to avoid them, the influences around you will play a large role in who you are.

When I was on the road the last few years, one of the things we use to tell young people at the end of the day was that if they wanted to keep their faith growing strong, they needed to surround themselves with friends who were on that same faith journey. It's like when you want to get good at football, you don't go and hang out with table tennis players, you go hang out with footballers.

The thing that I'm starting to realise though is that it's not just the things we want to become or the goals that we aim for that are affected by where we spend the moments of our day. Even our thoughts on just the simplest of things or our choice of reactions to particular situations are affected by our environment.

For me, one of my weaknesses is that I am highly competitive and I don't just mean in sports. I will aim to win on all fronts of my life and it's only in the last few years that I've started to realise that it is one of the main reasons for me being discontent in life. Just yesterday something happened where I had a reaction and then minutes later realised that was just my competitive side kicking in.

While it is easy for me to say that the solution to this would be to just stop being competitive and to get out of situations that are competitive, the truth is that it just wouldn't work and I wouldn't be me if I wasn't in this environment.

I know that might sound like a cop out, but hear me out because it is true. You see, It might not help my life to be highly competitive when it comes to say relationships, but it is important to me when it comes to keeping me striving to do the things I do to the best of my ability, and in having the passion to keep doing what God's called me to do. 

I get lazy if I'm not being challenged and a lot of the time, my challenges come from wanting to be better. Along with this, if I was to pull out from situations that are competitive, I'd have to lose doing things that are my passion, like watching sports and that would never happen, especially not on AFL Grand Final Day!

We all have weaknesses in our environment, whether they be our love of food, our passion for reading or our need to lead. But then again, these are also our greatest strengths. As a person once said, our strengths are our greatest weaknesses.

The key to ensuring that we keep on striving towards success and don't fall into the pit is that we make sure we are always aware of the environment we are in, so that when we see that there's a hazard ahead, we can take the steps to go around it.

Let me explain. Say for example one of the key elements of your environment is a passion for food. You aren't ever going to not be around food, but if you are aware of your environment, you'll know when you are eating too much, when you're eating way too much unhealthy food or when you might need to stay away from an food event and detox.

Awareness of your environment allows you to know when things within it are either business as usual or when there's an alarm that needs to be addressed.

In the coming weeks, I will be giving some of the tools that will help you to make the right decisions when you discover hazards in your environment but for now, the key is to become aware of the way you are living and start focusing on the areas of your life where perhaps things aren't going to plan, and then see what it is in our life that may be causing it.

By doing this, you will be able to start taking greater control of where your life is headed and you will also be able to start to see what it is that really matters in life and what is just a distraction.

No matter where you are in your life at the moment, you can always be more aware of the environment you live in, and trust me, once you start being more aware, the doors will open and you will discover things about your life that you never thought you would.

The things is though, awareness doesn't just happen, we have to take the step to focus and get in the zone. Now is the time to stop just living life and start living it with purpose so that you can be the person you and God knows you can be.

Till next time...

Have an attitude to gratitude - it won't just help others, but also you!

To be absolutely honest with you, this week has been a tough one for the world. From the fear we are now all faced with about possibly having our lives threatened, to the growing problems with epidemics across the world, you be forgiven if you think that the world is suddenly a darker place.

The thing is though, darkness is all around us and has been since the dawn of time. We have always had things to fear and worry about. Whilst it's great to say that it'd be fantastic to live in a world where everyone got along and all was at peace, the fact is, it isn't.

So where do you turn to when darkness is surrounding you? Where do you go when it seems like everything is caving in or the world seems like it wants to destroy you?

Well for starters, make sure you talk to someone about this. We all have these moments and we're not alone, so it's important we share and support each other.

The other thing that is important to do is when things seem less than hopeful, is to take an attitude of gratitude.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, then watch the video below as I think it's a great example of how being grateful can change a life.

As one of my favourite speakers Jonathan Doyle said in a podcast I was listening to this week- you have two choices to every situation- to either see the good or the bad.

Having an attitude to gratitude means that more often then not you'll pick the good. 

For example, if you have work/school/uni mates who you think are more talented or capable then you, rather than either getting jealous or feeling inadequate- if you had an attitude to gratitude, you'd be thankful for them being placed in your life and through that, use their talents to achieve your goals.

If you are feeling like you're being dealt a rough hand in a day, an attitude to gratitude will help you to think of the good things that have happened in the last day/week and you'll quickly see that this small moment is insignificant compared to the larger picture.

Now in saying all of this, there are going to be tough times- like when illness, death, heartbreak happen where it's going to be very hard to have an attitude to gratitude.

It's moments like these when we need to remember that we don't have to be happy, but we do need to be grateful. There's always things we can appreciate - even if that thing is just the support of friends and family or a favourite song, movie or food.

Some of the greatest people I've read about recently, from Church saints to saints of the world have suffered so much, but they all have, through an attitude to gratitude, been able to achieve greatness.

Gratitude doesn't just help others by making them feel worthwhile and therefore more willing to achieve their goals, it helps you to see the great wonders and joys that God has given in everyday of our lives.

So here's the challenge this weekend- start looking for something to be grateful for in your life everyday. It may be hard at first, but trust me, if you stick with it, it will change your life for the better.

Till next time...

Cause I'm taking it.. step by step

Growing up, one of the famous lines I heard on TV was... it won't happen overnight, but it will happen!

Sadly those facial creams and cleansers, hair products, bonsai gardens and even training programs weren't the most sound products around- frankly, a lot of them were just lemons.

But I can say that this line does hold true in one area of our lives. It holds true when it comes to changing our lives towards the will of God.

We all have those moments where God makes us realise that we need to change a certain part of our life or that the path we're going down might not be the best option.

When we have those moments, it's all too common that we then go full-tilt into fixing the situation. If it's that we need to get fit, we buy tons of fitness equipment or sign up to a gym and then start going daily to ensure we feel that we are making an impact. If it's that we need be more generous to others, we make sure the next month becomes filled up with catch-ups with people and any spare time left is used on the phone to those we can't physically meet.

The problem with this thought process is that we expect results automatically and when they don't happen, we get frustrated and go back to our old ways. The gym membership becomes something that is bought but never used as we didn't lose that 5kg we were hoping to get rid of in the first week. The exhaustion of not having any time to ourselves makes us resent our friends who are forcing us to catch up with them and so we stop catching up with anyone all together, saying it's time for some me time!

If you're in this situation, before I continue, please don't feel bad about it. You are not alone as we've all been there at one stage of our lives or are still there and I say that from personal experience.

The truth of it all is, you are never going to change something in the space of a few hours, days or weeks. In some cases, you aren't even going to change something in a matter of months. The thing is though, if you keep trying to change, sooner or later, the want becomes a habit and that habit will, overtime, see you make the change you are trying to achieve.

Recently I've come to the realisation that my need for things to be perfect is not good for me, for others or for my life. I never saw myself as a perfectionist, but a few years ago, I realised that while I don't fuss over everything, I do set a very high standard on what I do and that sometimes is either unrealistic or puts way to much pressure on myself and others.

So, I have set about this year working to try to accept that when I make mistakes, that's not a bad thing, but rather a fact of life that comes from being imperfect.

I started by trying to just completely change my thought process. I was going about just accepting the errors I and others made and not really caring much about them, at times I think those around me thought I was just not caring at all I was that laid back about things.

There's an old saying though that says a leopard never changes its spots and in this case, I was the leopard.

As much as I tried to change the thought process, it didn't take long for me to start getting annoyed at how people thought I wasn't caring and from that, I went back to trying not to make mistakes. It got to a point a month ago where I was so worried about doing something wrong, it was affecting my prayer life and my relationship with God, which in hindsight, was ridiculous.

Good news though is that God by his grace let me in the last few weeks hear from some great people who gave me a lot of wisdom and understanding in this area and from that, I realised once more that I wasn't meant to be perfect, that I would stuff up and that it was ok for that to happen.

But that then led me to ask... well then, if I'm not meant to perfect but I feel like I need to be, how can I change where I'm at without going back into the craziness of the last few months?

The answer in the end as I'm finding out, was that I do need to change, but not as drastically as I thought I did. Change in our lives is not like changing clothes. You don't just whip off one thing and throw on another and wham, the job is done.

Change in our lives is a gradual process. It involves us taking small steps every day to make a difference to where we are at. For me with my need to be perfect, it's making the choice everyday to accept I won't be perfect- and then accept that if I stuff up in doing this, it's ok as I wasn't meant to do it perfectly.

I know that there's some days I'll succeed with flying colours and there's other days I'm going to fall into old habits. The key though is that on the bad days, I need to realise that it's a bad day and then get back on the path the next day and to know that on the good days, it's one step closer to my goal.

I was listening to renowned chastity speaker Leah Darrow last night who said that "it's ok to fall seven times, as long as you get up eight". 

The honest truth is that we aren't expected to make it to our final goal in one step. We are going to fall a few times before we get there, just as we did when we were learning to walk. But just as with that process, over time, if we keep on the path and trying, we'll get there eventually if we are meant to be there.

As I said at the very start- it may not happen overnight, but it will happen.

Till next time...