Getting on the right path

Hi everyone,

So a few weeks ago, I encourage you all to take some time to have a think about some of the big questions in life - and now it's time to unpack them one by one - starting with the question of whether
you are on the right path in life?

If you answered yes to this question, then my words of encouragement are simple - keep going and stay focused! As you'll read about in future posts, the hardest part about getting on the path is actually staying on it when you are there. There are so many distractions trying to take you off the path and it's so easy to go down a windy road and then end up lost and spending months trying to back track. It's why when you're on the path, you need to do all you can to stay on it. Make sure you grab someone who can keep you accountable on your goals and keep making targets to achieve - do this and you'll be on your way to success.

Ok so what about the rest of us then... what about the ones who answered no to this question and are possibly aimlessly going through life with no direction as to where we want to end up.. well to those people, I say, read on below...

There are four main reasons why we feel we aren't on the right path. I'm going to list them below and beside each of them, provide my viewpoints on each of these reasons and the truth that needs to be recognised.

1. You haven't got the skills and talents to achieve your goals - now this is a common reason for people straying off the path. It's so easy to say you want to achieve something but then, you stop as it gets too hard or in your mind you aren't equipped to deal with this challenge.
   
   The thing is though, God doesn't called the equipped - he equips the called. If you are called to something, then you need to at least give it a go and put all your effort into it. If you aren't knowledgeable in an area - watch some YouTube videos, ask a friend who is knowledgeable or if needed, take a course. Also, take into account point two!
   
   
2. You're trying to do things but ain't that successful - Firstly, as I've written before, success is not just about being the best at something or being the most popular either. Sometimes, our success, as it was for Jesus, will be found when we are being challenged the most, criticised the most and ridiculed the most because what we know is right to do is so counter-cultural, it's hard for others to take it in.
   
   Secondly, you won't be able to be successful at something the first time around. It took Edison thousands of attempts before he came up with the light blub and it's going to take you a few tries before you'll even get close to being a success. The truly successful ones for the most part weren't the ones who were super talented at something at the get go - but they were the ones who persevered to learn from the adversity and rise to the top.
   
   
3. Every time I try to do something on my chosen path, there are obstacles in the way - Now
   
   before I go any further - let me say something that I didn't realise for a long time but which is very important to hear- no pathway in life is plain sailing!
   
   Look at all those who have been successful in achieving their life goals. Most of these people had numerous moments when they had setbacks, hit dead ends or just fell flat on their faces. The thing is though is that despite the obstacles, they never gave up - and neither should you. If you feel called to something - then keep striving at it.... for it is through our hard work that God can work his divine providence. Who knows, you might not achieve the goal tonight, but you've got a much better chance in 10-20 years time when you learn from your mistakes.
   
   
4. It doesn't seem like the right thing to do- now if this is you, then the first thing you need to
   
   do is get away from the computer screen, go to your favourite reflection space and take some time to reflect. You need to go and find out whether the evil one is wanting to corrupt your thinking and stop you from making a goal happen or the goal isn't the one for you.
   
   If it's the first one, then keep focused on the goal, don't believe the lies and strive for it. If it's the second one, then I would say that it's not your season be on this path right now however that doesn't mean the dream is over. Keep the dream in your back pocket because you never know when the season may change and you will be in the right place or, you'll find someone who you can help in this area of life as you'll have the experience of going through this time.

Hopefully this has helped you on your journey and stay tuned for the next blog where we'll continue to discuss these themes plus a whole lot more.

Till next time...

Reflection: A look into your life today

Hi everyone,

Ok, so once again apologies for the delay in writing. It's been a busy last month with moving, family events and then to top it all off my computer decided to breakdown... good news though is that it's back, I'm back and even more inspired to help you to be the best you can be.

Speaking of which - this idea of being the best you can be is going to be the focus of the next few blogs. I know in the last few blogs the idea has been spoken about but now I want to get real, into the details and give you the tools you need to see out the year as best as you can.

So to start off with, it's time for a bit of reflection. If we're being honest, none of us spend enough time in reflection (unless you're in an order, love to meditate or have a personality trait as such) - I know I certainly don't.

The thing is though, if we don't reflect on our lives and how we are going, then how on earth are we meant to be able to see what works, what doesn't and make those necessary tweaks along the way to being the people God calls us to be.

Below are a series of questions that are meant to make you think about how your life is at the moment - there are no right or wrong answers and if you feel you are weak at something, don't do what I sometimes do and get either worked up over it or crawl into a ball of failure. The key to this is to see the weaknesses and acknowledge them but to also be made aware of the unknown strengths and talents you may have as well. Over the coming months, I will share some of the ways in which you can harness both these areas of your life to your advantage and be the best you can be.

Q1: Am I on the path I want to be on?

Q2: Do I know where I want to go next?

Q3: Does this path involve just me or my friends and family as well?

Q4: Is my end goal fame, money, power, success or is it goal achieving, helping others and making a difference to the world?

Q5: Is there anything that I fear about the path I'm on?

Q6: If there is, what is it, and why?

Q7: Are there any roadblocks outside of fear that are stopping me on my path?

Q8: What sacrifices am I willing to make (if any) to achieve the goal?

Q9: Have I taken any steps to make the goal happen yet?

Q10: Where do I want to be in 6 months time?


I really encourage you not to just skim over these questions but to take the time to really think about the responses. Once you have, keep reflecting on these on a daily basis and in my next post I'll start going through each of these areas and explain what it means both to your life and also how to maximise your potential within these areas to make life the best it can be.

Until next time...

It's time to get real...

Hey everyone,

I went to a talk the other night from a Deacon in the United States who spoke about how one of the greatest flaws of the Western Catholic Church compared to the Eastern Catholic Rite is that we aren't willing to be real.

He spoke about how we have this amazing religion which is filled with richness and all sort of tradition and yet we have spent years trying to make the faith something that will meet the needs of modern society - giving up the great mystery and history to try to get people to connect.

In return however, people have seen the facade for what it is - a facade. They are turned off by the efforts of the church trying to be something it's not and he spoke about how young people are actually more interested in being involved in the faith when they get to see it's richness and history and experience things that they might not understand but are different to their normal lives.

All of this got me thinking... this Deacon was talking about the Church, but could the same principle apply to our lives? The answer after a few days of thought in my mind is a resounding yes.

I think that in society today, one of the biggest traps we fall into is the fact that we think that in order for someone to accept us, we need to be something that is popular or that is liked by the person we are aiming to impress.

We spend money on hair, teeth, bodies, clothes, cars, jewellery, accessories and so much more - all in the attempt to win the masses and feel accepted by someone in this expansive world we live in.

The truth of the matter is though if we're honest, most of the time this doesn't work out too well. The person on the other end either sees straight through the facade we're putting on and walks away, or they take a liking to us for a while, however as time goes on either we find it too hard to keep the facade, they see through us and the facade and feel cheated for being lied to or we end up seeing the truth and feeling we wasted our time on the whole thing.

We are made who we are for a reason. Each one of us possesses gifts and talents that no one else has in that percentage combination. It's this combination that not only make us who we are, but draws people to us as well.

In addition, people who meet us and stay with us from the get go are normally there because they like something in us - the real us, not the person who we try to become to get others approval. If this is the case, then it really is hard to fathom why we'd change ourselves from the person who people were attracted to in the first place.

I know for some of you this may be a really hard concept to believe, but it is the truth. You DO NOT need to be anyone else but yourself. Those who truly respect and care for you will accept most of this and love you for the parts they don't accept anyway. The rest, well, you need to live with them, but you don't need to try to get their approval.

So here's a challenge for you for this week - try to be yourself without any masks or pretensions for just one day. If you succeed, then try for two the week after - if not, then keep trying till you succeed then move onto the next step.

The real you, like the Deacon at the start of the story was saying about the true Catholic Church is so beautiful and amazing that if you let it shine, those around you won't be able to help looking at it and being amazed.

Till next time everyone...

Having a bad day... know you're not alone

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the lateness of this post. Between the lack of motivation to write and then having a head cold the last few days, it's been a struggle to get anything much through the keyboard.

I'm sure you're all thinking right now- I totally get you or #thestruggleisreal.

The funny thing is that while this is completely true and we know this, whenever we are having a bad day or struggling with life, we seem to think that we're in this battle alone.

I know a month or two ago I was having one of my down times and as I looked around at everyone else around me it seemed like they were having the time of their lives, while I was all by myself in this state of unhappiness and gloom.

The truth though was that this was not the case. I soon found out that several of those people I had been around had been going through their fair share of bad days as well.

Now I'm not trying to say that you should be happier because you find out that other people's lives are as problematic as yours - it's not good that anyone's life sucks, but that's just life.

What I am saying however is that the next time you feel like you're having a bad day, here's some important things to remember:

1. Everyone has bad days - they are a part of our frailty as humans
2. Bad days don't last. The sun does come out sooner or later
3. People are around to support you, so use them and don't try to fight the battle alone.

Now this last point is one of the most critical things to remember when having a bad day. While it's so easy to look at the world and either despise it or feel it's against you when things aren't going your way - it's vital that you remember that those close to you don't have it against you to make your life a misery and more so, they want the best for you.

I regularly meet up with a group of people to chat about our lives and one of the things that I've found over the last few months is that spending time with these people is not only good for sharing how I'm feeling but it's also good for others to understand and then have a greater knowledge of why things are the way they are and how they can support.

Whether it's your family, your friends or a counselor sharing your thoughts, especially when you are having a bad day is an important step in overcoming the negative space and being able move past the bad day and into the sunshine.

Another important thing to know when you're in a bad day is that overcoming the bad starts with focusing on the good. 

Now I know that sounds so cliche, but here me out. If you have a set of mantras, phrases or for those who are of the faith, bible passages that you focus on regularly in the good and bad times, then when bad times come - you can turn your attention to these and see the truth.

When I was working in youth ministry, we use to always talk about faith - fact -feelings when dealing with a situation and how so often the feelings overwhelm the rest of the process and cloud it. Having constant messages around you will help you to stop the feelings train and place the focus back on the first two - which is key to keeping positive in life.

Finally, there is one of other thing to know about when having a bad day and that's the fact you are loved by others and by God always. It's so hard to see but this is sometimes the greatest solace of all for a person having a bad day and it's why we should always keep offering encouraging words, giving hugs and doing random gifts of kindness. Our actions towards others can be the difference between several bad days and just one.

So yes, have those bad days, they are a part of life and without them, we wouldn't appreciate the good days as much as we do - but know you're not alone in having them and that there is always support to help you work to get to the sunnier side of life.

Till next time...

NB. If life's pressures are getting too much to handle or you have been diagnosed with depression or anxiety then it is vital that you seek professional help. 

Be careful of boxing yourself in

Ah boxes.. good for so many things - like carrying items, building forts, moving houses, storing files... the list goes on and on.

One thing they aren't so good for however is putting people into.

Now I know there'll be a few of you saying - but why would you do that? To those people, I meant metaphorically not literally.

There will be others who will say, but what's the problem with having a perceived idea of someone - makes it easier to choose how you'll relate to them and helps to distinguish the 'good apples from the bad ones'. Ok maybe not in so many words, but you get the picture.

Well today I'm here to share with you three reasons why putting boxes around people isn't the best idea.

1. You create a particular view of the person - Ever heard someone say.. Oh he's the funny one, or she's the pretty one, or they're the one that's good at sport?
   
   These lines, while not meaning to be harmful can sometimes be extremely dangerous if used incorrectly. By saying them, you automatically make someone out to be a particular type of person and they in turn feel they can't be anything else. They may have many more gifts - ones greater than the original, but they will never use them as they think the only thing they can be good at is the thing everyone's talking about.
   
   On the flip side of this equation, not only will the person boxed in feel like there's only particular things they can do, but the people around them start to think that there's no use in trying something as a particular person is just so good at it and I'll never get there. This is just as dangerous as it creates a single point dependency where if a person suddenly is no longer there, no one can step in to fill the breach. It also reduces people's capacity to live to their full potential, something we weren't ever created for.
   
   
2. You put yourself at risk of conflict and disappointment - Putting boxes around people means that you always expect people to be a particular way as that's the image you've formed of them.When this doesn't happen, conflict and disappointment are normally the first things to occur as people don't deal well when those around them suddenly are no longer in their box.
   
   
   
   For many reasons, people's attitudes can change and while I know I struggle with this at times, we need to let this process occur as it is an important part of growing both as a person but also in relationship with others. If you place a person in a box though, when this happens, rather than letting a person grow, you instead due to your need for control begin trying to figure out how to put a person back in the box you are so comfortable with, missing out on ways you could help another person.
   
   
3. You also get boxed in - Now this one might sound hard to believe but trust me, it's true. When you place people into a particular area of your life or give them a particular role, you also place boxes around that can affect you mentally and make you feel 'boxed in' too.
   
   Recently, I was going through a bit of a funk and was wondering what was causing it? I had no idea and the more I thought about it, the worse it got.
   
   In recent weeks, I realised the funk was caused by the fact I was so busy boxing in those around me that I'd stopped worrying about doing things that I enjoy and instead spending that time trying impress those who were around me. This worrying and bad self esteem was a result of placing people in boxes so much that I was no longer just placing them in boxes, but I was putting myself in one too.
   
   
   
   I'd spend my days worrying not only about others and how I wanted them to be, but also how they saw me at particular times and then working out ways I could be me in the boxes I could see they were placing me in. Since realising this and reminding myself of a few home truths, I can honestly say my life is a lot happier and joyous.

While it might be easy to do, as the last three points show, boxing a person into a particular lifestyle, genre or way of living is more detrimental than just sticking a label on them, it can also stop dreams, remove talents or even come back to make you insecure.

So next time you feel the need to box someone in, remember, they may be good at something or be a certain type of person, but that's just part of the story, and there's many more chapters to come,

Till next time...

Want success? Then it's time to hit the training track!

Hi everyone,

Success is something that we all strive for in life. Whether it's a job, a relationship, a financial decision or just the basic things like making pancakes... we all want to do these things to the best of our ability. It's the way God made us.

Ever notice though that some people seem to be more successful than the rest? That some people are able to do things just that bit better than others?

Also ever notice that while the rest of us seem to go like a yo-yo when it comes to progress. there are some who just seem to keep going further and further?

Well today I'm going to share with you the reason for this.

While talent has some role to play in it, the real answer to the questions asked above boils down to one simple word - training.

Lionel Messi, one of the greatest football (soccer) goal scorers of all time, let alone players, did not
just become that way because he was talented. Sure that had some part to play, but what separates Messi from the rest is the fact that he spent over a decade in the Barcalona Academy, training with the stars and honing his skills. Even now, Messi is one of those players who continually puts in the one- percenters, staying back for hours after regular training to get the technique right and to practice new moves.

The same goes for you with your goals in life. You won't get anywhere of greatness unless you are willing to train yourself to get to where you want to go.

Now that doesn't mean getting out on a field and doing sprint runs for two hours, but it does mean training your mind to focus on the success you want and on how to deal with the obstacles that come in your way.

For example, one of my success areas is in the field of believing I can achieve goals in life. I don't always have (despite what it seems) the best self-confidence levels and so I have to train in this area to ensure I can keep doing what I need to do, rather than just get lazy and unmotivated.

I do this by making sure I start each day reading and listening to people who will inspire me to be great, by constantly telling myself that I can do what I need to do and by making sure I focus on possible challenges I may face at the start of the day and how I need to tackle them, rather than trying to deal with them when they happen.

Is it easy? I can honestly say that it's not and that some days are much less successful than others. Like an elite sportsperson however, I am starting to realise that those days are just setbacks, not the end of the road and so I go into the next day and strive to achieve my goals once more.

Is it worth it? Definitely. While I still yo-yo, I now am more aware of when I doing this and then I can take steps to stop that occurring in the future. I've also created a habit where I now check my mind every morning for this and so I am ready for what is to come and that's made life a lot easier to manage.

Training, while hard is the only way you can reach the potential you are called to. I challenge every one of you today to get into the training field and start focusing on what you want to succeed in.

I believe in you and know that if you do, your lives will be changed for the better for a lifetime to come.

Till next time...

Break the mold of society

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the lateness in this post, I was writing another piece but wasn't ready to release it so I decided to start again- and at this moment I can hear all the writers out there saying 'I feel ya bro'! :)

I don't like being negative but I have to admit that the world we live in is a sad place -and not because of wars, hurts or injustice (all though all those things are really not great).

No, today I say the world is a sad place because:

• people can't give a compliment without someone thinking they have an ulterior motive

• people are so use to not being thanked, they get scared when they are

• no one goes out of their way for anyone, for fear of being judged

• the phrase what's mine is yours has now become what's mine is mine & mine alone

• you can't have a conversation without someone trying to guess what the discussion is really about.

• people feel such a lack of community and support they will use public facilities to care for their kids instead of finding someone to look after them!

Since when did we become a world where trust, care and love were placed so low on the bar of importance in society that you'd need to be a limbo champion to reach them? 

It's time that someone changed this and today I'm putting the call out to all who read this post for that person to be you.

Too often in society, and this especially goes out to the Christians reading this, we would rather be accepted in society than to do what is right - I mean why try to help others out when we can just be happy with our friends, in our groups which love and care for us all and giving token gestures to show our support of the plight of the wider world?

Doing what is right however is how we will change the world. 

Now you might be saying, but I'm just one person doing right, surely my small works will do nothing. I say think again!

By doing what's right, you can inspire everyone around you and then they'll try it and inspire all around them and soon, communities & towns are all getting involved.

One of the greatest examples of this is one of my workmates. He works on the road but whenever he's in the office he's always buying coffee for others and inviting them to join him when he buys it, without ever expecting anything in return.

In doing this, he's not only inspired me to be more generous but he's made our entire team more generous as we see how much happier we are when we're giving. Now people regularly go on coffee trips together and we also buy each other coffee even when he's not around. 

This guy has changed an entire area of an office by one simple task.

Another example is the great community I belong to. A lot of these people give everything to help others see how great life can be. 

Even when budgets are tight, these are people who will by a smorgasbord of food for an event or a lolly store for a party. They also truly make everyone around them feel special and in doing so, inspire others to do the same.

Now while these two examples are great, they really shouldn't be anything special. This should be the way that we act all the time but sadly, it's so rare it needs to be pointed out here.

It's time we all started to act like this, the way Jesus called us to and the way we know we should as followers of God. Sure it's not normal and sure it might cause people to question or either persecute us, but we should expect that when doing God's will and be willing to keep going knowing the great change we can make.

So what are you waiting for... it's time to break the mold of society and change the world for the better. 

Till next time...